I was reading another Slave’s blog today and it got me thinking about friends in the community. I think it is important to have friends that are submissives/slaves. Especially in the beginning, I know I’ve learned so much from the ladies blogs that I follow. They are awesome. But there are always gonna be haters out there, I don’t know why some women are so vindictive towards other women, but I just say “forget them and concentrate on the good friends you do have”, I’m always looking for ladies to chat with or be friends with. You can contact me on Fetife, I’m Geminigrl1984.
So I know a few posts ago I had suggested that I would give Sir a “send off” every morning. Well I’ve been doing good the past few days. However, last night I was just thinking about the sudden change in my life with medical retirement. Giving up my career that I’ve worked so hard to get. The air felt so heavy and I was unable to sleep and I believe I was on the verge of having a panic attack about everything. Sir tried to calm me by holding me and telling me that it would be alright. Eventually my mind settled and I fell asleep. I must have been sleeping hard because I didn’t wake up to Sir’s alarm clock as usual. I woke up when I heard him getting dressed in the other room. I quickly jumped up and asked him why didn’t he wake me up to give him his send off and he kissed my forehead and told me to go back to sleep. He said that he realized I had had a bad night with a lot on my mind. He said he didn’t need his send off this morning. My heart melted. He put his own needs aside (because I know he loves that send off), just to let me rest. It made me smile and I felt warm and fuzzy inside. I could feel his love all around me and it calmed me. I feel into a deep sleep before he was even out the door for work.
When I finally woke up I realized how much I love Sir. How he’s been there for me the past 8 years through everything. He’s always going to be there and I think taking the journey into our D/s relationship again is only going to make our bond stronger and I want that so badly. So I guess this post is just about feeling the love from your Dominant. I definitely felt him taking care of me last night and this morning.
I couldn’t sleep last night. For some reason so, I sat up in bed and read blogs and did more submissive and dominant research. Before I knew it, Sir’s alarm clock was going off. He woke up to reset it. He asked how long I had been up and I told him the whole night. We started talking about our D/s relationship and what each other expect and want from it. Then we decided to wait and talk about it when he comes home from work today.
Sir started talking about how hard his cock was and how I should taste it. So with a great big smile on my face I started to suck him. I took this opportunity to reacquaint myself with his cock, the girth, the length, the head. When he started talking to me it made me want to please him more. So I went faster. He then demanded that I suck on his balls and I did, the more I heard him moan and tell me “good girl”, the harder I sucked. I made my way back up to his cock and began vigorously sucking until he came. By the end of it I was so wet, I wanted him to take me right then and there and fuck me hard. So again I was very proud that he was proud of me. He said now no matter what happened at his day at work its going to be a good day, which made me feel good. I’m thinking I should probably make a habit and do this every morning. He wakes up before me when I’m working so it wouldn’t be anything to wake up and give him a great send off…I think I’ve gone into it more confident in my ability to please him.
I promise I won’t write everyday about my awesome send offs. But just wanted to share my first couple and the thoughts I was having. Like I’ve said in earlier posts our sex life is going great with the D/s stuff but its the outside the bedroom that I am waiting to blossom. I know I must be patient.
So looking through other Blogs I found this website called Submissive Coffee Club (www.sccwriting.tumblr.com). They have cool prompts for blogs, questions that you can answer. So here’s my first writing prompt.
What are your support mechanisms other than your Dominant?
Well I have my 3 of my best friends who know about us changing our lifestyle and are supportive of it. I also read the blogs everyday and the submissives/slaves that I read are great and I feel like I could go to some of them for advice if I have questions. I also find that writing my blog helps me too because the people that follow me give me advice, they have been doing this longer than me so I welcome their advice.
Does it bother you to admit to weakness?
Yes it does. I hate the question in interviews “Tell me some of your strengths and weaknesses…” so I was told instead of telling your weaknesses, tell a strength and make it look like a weakness. For instance, I have OCD, everything has to be perfect. See that might sound like a weakness but its also tells the interviewer that you are organized. So in the end it does bother me to admit weakness. I come from a long line of strong women, who never admit weakness.
Do you think Dominants need someone to turn to in difficult times, other than their submissives?
I do. I am speaking this from our current situation. We are both new to this and I think it would help tremendously for new Dominants to have a mentor or someone they can go to and ask questions. Same is to be said for new submissives as well.
So last nights fucking experience took an interesting turn. I didn’t even think there were going to be any activity at all. When I crawled into bed, Sir grabbed me up and started kissing me passionately. He pushed me on my back and lifted my night shirt over my face so I couldn’t see anything. He slowly kissed and then sucked on my left nipple. Then a very strange sensation he was biting my nipple. It felt so good. He did this for a few minutes then moved on to the right nipple and repeated. It felt so good, I wanted to cum but forced myself not to. He then kissed his way down to my pussy. It felt so good, again I wanted to cum. His tongue teasing my clit. He slid his fingers inside of me and it felt so good. He got rougher with each thrust of his hand. He towered over me, I guess he could feel that I was on the edge. I didn’t think I could hold it off any longer, then I heard “Cum for me,” and I did. Just the way he said it, no, it was the way he ORDERED it. I came hard, he didn’t give me a chance to recover, he shoved his cock inside of me and fucked me hard until I came again. Shortly after I came he came.
It was the most exciting sex we had ever had. I fucking loved every minute of it. Afterwards, I was so hot we had to turn the air up. I felt so grateful for Sir, I felt I was completely his. He ordered me to come and my body obeyed that order. It was great. I still can’t get over that. He held me until we fell asleep and called me his “good girl”. I was happy that he was happy with me. I fell into a deep sleep.
It can only get better from there. Sir gets up for work at 430 in the morning. I got up with him and asked if there was anything I could do to help him get ready. I had already made his lunch the night before. He said there was nothing, kissed my forehead and told me to go back to bed. I completely had forgotten about this encounter. I fell back into a deep sleep and didn’t wake up until 10 o’clock. Boy, I can’t wait to see what happens when things get more intense.
So I’ve been off work sick, my Lupus is acting up. I will be off for the next week trying to get my health under control so I can go back to work. So I’ve been trying to tend to the house and get used to my new role as submissive. Its been a little harder than I thought it would be, but I will soon get used to all the changes. I filled out a BDSM Checklist for Sir so he would know a little more about me sexually. I’m getting a little better at calling Sir, Sir and not his name. He’s been very lenient with me on that.
But earlier today I had a strange feeling come across me and I started questioning myself. Can I really do this? Can he do this? Are we really going to be able to do this? Among other things. It only lasted for about an hour but that hour seemed like 5 hours. I had to keep reassuring myself that we both can do this, that we both want to do this. I think the problem with me is I’m a perfectionist, but I know that we will make mistakes along the way and that every D/s relationship is different and that there is no one way to do things.
Last night on TLC I watched a special they were showing entitled “Submissive Wives Guide to Marriage”, it was about women who have chosen to be submissive to their husbands. They really didn’t talk about wither or not they have Kink in their relationships but the concept seems to be a lot like a D/s relationship minus the calling their husband Master or Sir. What kind of shocked me one of the women said “It takes a strong woman to submit, a weak woman would complain and moan about,” it really stuck with me and while I was asking myself all those questions this morning this woman’s voice came in my head and I was like “I am a strong woman, I can do this, I can be a submissive to my husband because I love him and appreciate him so much,” it was that moment that all the unsure feelings just kind of left me.
SUBJECT CHANGE: I don’t know if what I am writing is interesting or not but I’ve seen that I’ve gotten 6 followers which makes me very excited and I want to thank you guys that are following me. I appreciate you more than you know.
Well I finally did it. Me and Sir have been talking for 6 years about me getting a tattoo. Sir has a tattoo on his left bicep of chain and padlock. We had always talked about me getting the key to go to his lock. Earlier this week Sir just happened to say out of the blue “Let’s go Thursday and get you key”. I was so excited finally. In the past we had talked about getting the key as a anklelet and the key going down my foot. By the time we got to the tattoo parlor we changed our minds to having it as a wristlet and key going upward on my arm. I was so nervous because I know that area is very sensitive and I haven’t had a tattoo in 16 years. But all went well and the artist did an amazing job and it did not hurt as much as I thought it would. It was more annoying. Finished product:
So after I got that tattoo, we decided that I wanted to get another. So I got the Chinese symbol for submissive above my ankle. Sir is thinking he’s going to get the Chinese symbol for Dominance on his right bicep sometime soon.
So now I have two tattoos to take care of and not to mention hide. In my career we aren’t allowed to have tattoos showing so I have to come up with a clever way to hide the key. LOL. Hide the key. Funny. But I’ve been taking good care of them for the past couple of days and I am going to be off work for at least a week due to health reasons so I have plenty of time to come up with a way to cover the key up.
I can’t stop staring at the tattoos, Its so symbolic for us. Lets me know we will be together forever. We are finally Under Lock and Key. I love it. I am his forever.
My parents divorced when I was 6 years old. Me and my father went to live with my grandmother who raised me. My mother had visitation rights but my grandmother and father thought because she was gay it wasn’t a good idea for me to stay the night at her house with her and her partner. So I didn’t see my mother as often as I would have loved to when I was young (but more on this a little later). As an outlet and dealing with the divorce my grandmother put me into dance. I fell in love with dance and spent the next 20 years dancing. I was raised to be Christian Baptist. Its something I still am. Although with our new found lifestyle choice I don’t know how accepted it would be. Bottom line I believe in the God, I believe that Jesus died for our sins, I believe in Heaven and Hell. What I don’t believe in is I have to go to church every Sunday, donate all my money, get involved in every church organization in order to get into heaven. And I definitely don’t believe in being pretentious or self righteous or “i’m more holier than you”.
I lost my father to lung cancer when I was 19. I lost my mother to lung cancer when I was 22. So both parents had passed. I felt like and orphan for a long time. I still had my grandmother but it wasn’t the same as having my mother and father to talk to. From the age of 16 I started to get very close to my mother and she became my best friend. I called her everyday. It was so hard for me to take her number out of my phone when she passed. It was even harder to fight the urge to call her everyday. It’s still hard for me Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Halloween (our favorite holiday). I still miss them everyday.
As a teenager I hid in dance. Ballet, Modern, and Jazz were my life. I went to a performing arts high school and danced at a studio. I didn’t go to parties or date or anything normal teenagers did. But I did find out at a young age that I did prefer white guys as opposed to black guys. Sure I had prom dates and almost relationships in high school. I didn’t lose my virginity until I was 18 years old. At nineteen I was engaged, that fell through quickly (I wonder why…lol). Then I was single until I met Sir.
I started my career with the government after I graduated from college with my Bachelors degree.
Me and Sir live in a quaint little house with our two Boxer dogs. We don’t have kids…yet. We will probably adopt because of the autoimmune disease I have it would be difficult to have children.
So I guess that’s more about me in a nutshell….until next time…stay kinky!!