And it’s real…

So today, I had my doctors appointment. My doctor took me off from work indefinitely. Next week I will go around to all my specialists and get copies of my medical records to turn into the state retirement board and once they have all the paperwork it will take 6-8 weeks to decide wither or not I’ve been approved for Medical Retirement from Policing. Next Thursday I have my appointment with Social Security Disability, thankfully for that process all I need to do give them a list of my doctors, their addresses and phone numbers. So it’s really happening…it’s really real…and I am just a ball of emotions. One moment I’m relieved, one moment I’m depressed.

It was bittersweet talking to my doctor. He completely agreed that it is time to close the door on being a police officer. My body just isn’t agreeing with it. I’m making my Lupus worse by staying on the force. He said he supports me in any way that he can. He’s an awesome Primary Care doctor, he’s known my husband’s family for over 30 years, so he knows how personally hard this decision was for me. He’s been hinting at medical retirement since I’ve been diagnosed 3 years ago.

Sorry I’m not writing a lot about Kink these days, my mind is just elsewhere right now. I am still getting used to my new role as slave. I am trying to make Sir comfortable when he gets home. Especially now since he is working a lot of overtime to compensate for my income coming down a bit. He is so understanding. I am so lucky to have a Sir like him. He is all about my emotional state right now. He knows how hard this is for me. He sends me texts during the day asking how I’m feeling. He reassures me that this is the best decision for my health. I love him so much. I know there will come a time soon when I am sobbing in his arms about it all and I can fully trust that he will hold me and assure me that everything is going to be alright. I am one lucky slave.

Update on Career to Home… (vanilla)

Well I said I would keep everyone posted on what’s been going on with my health and work situation. So today I spent most of the day on the phone and at our human resources office. So here’s what I found out:

1. Medical retirement-wise: I have to gather all my medical records to turn in (there are a lot). They are mailing me the entire disability medical retirement packet. There is a form that my doctor has to fill out, there’s another form that my supervisors have fill out describing my work duties. They told me how much I would get if approved, which is a lot more than I thought I would get.

2. Social Security Disability-wise: I made an appointment next week to begin filing for that. I need all my doctor’s contact information. They told me how much I will get if approved, which is a nice number.

Good thing with my retirement and social security I will get $20 less than what I make currently working which is good. Now’s time for the hard part getting all the information together to get approved for both. I see my primary care doctor on Friday and we will talk about it seeing for the Social Security Disability he will be the one filing that paperwork out.

People with legitimate illnesses get denied every day for social security disability. The worker told me on the phone that documentation is everything. The more medical documentation you have, the more likely you are to be approved for it. I have plenty of documentation, trust me. I have 9 specialists that take care of me.

So here it goes…I’m a little less relieved knowing more information about both systems. I am not proud to have to do this, I wish there was another way. I wish I could work. I wish I didn’t have the diseases that I have. But I do have them and it’s time to stop pretending I don’t need help.

But it will be a good thing. I keep telling myself. I will be home more and able to serve Sir, so that’s always a plus. Just wanted to drop a line and update the people that were concerned about my health and the decisions that I had to make.