So I’ve been asked about my health a lot here lately. How am I able to participate in BDSM activities when I have a disease such as Lupus and Fibromyalgia? I take a lot of medication a day to try to keep my Lupus and Fibromyalgia in check and I take a monthly infusion but even then sometimes there are breakthrough flares of pain and fatigue that do incapacitates me.
I’ve been pondering how to respond to this for a while and I’ve been writing this piece for a while. It’s a hard question to answer but here goes:
- I have a very loving and caring Dominant/Husband. He is aware when I don’t feel good even when I don’t tell him. During those times he takes it pretty easy on me as far as protocol and if he sees that sexual activity is not an option he is ok with that. He always says my health comes first. This is the reason that I am retiring from my job as a Police Officer and coming home to focus on getting healthy and staying that way. I still believe my calling is to serve Sir. That is my number one concern. I don’t always let him know when my body is betraying me but he always seems to tell. I guess that knowing your submissive/wife well.
- Just because I’m a submissive doesn’t mean I’m a masochist. Don’t get me wrong I like a little pain but I don’t crave it ALL the time. I love impact toys, Paddles, Floggers, I’m all down for to a certain extent. I do hope to widen my threshold for pain but its not something that I crave. I wouldn’t consider myself a masochist. Actually at play parties it’s a little hard for me to watch a scene where someone is being flogged or whipped for a long period of time. But I will get better at that the more I am exposed to it I suppose. Plus to go along with this there is good pain and bad pain. Lupus and Fibromyalgia pain are bad. They are debilitating. The pain you get from being flogged is good pain. It makes you feel good. Euphoric in a way.
- It is frustrating when my health gets in the way. Its EXTREMELY frustrating! Because it seems like the times I want to play and be used I can’t because something is hurt. I’m sure its frustrating for Sir as well. I know we don’t get to play as much as he would like because of my health situation.
- Knowing that I am not alone. I am part of a group on Fetlife for Lupus called “Lupus In the Lifestyle”. This group helps so much even if I am just frustrated that I can’t play and I want to go in there and vent. The ladies in this group have helped me out so much in dealing with Lupus in this lifestyle. There is also another group “Fibromyalgia and Kink”, that I get a lot of support from.
- My submission is not always about play. It’s about how best I can serve my Sir. How I can make his life easier. If for some reason I can’t have sex, there are plenty of alternatives that can happen. We are in this thing 24/7 and there is definitely more to our D/s relationship than the BDSM part of it.
I think that I answered the question as best I could but if anyone has anymore questions about Lupus/Fibromyalgia in the lifestyle please comment or message me. I have no problem talking about it.