I couldn’t sleep last night. For some reason so, I sat up in bed and read blogs and did more submissive and dominant research. Before I knew it, Sir’s alarm clock was going off. He woke up to reset it. He asked how long I had been up and I told him the whole night. We started talking about our D/s relationship and what each other expect and want from it. Then we decided to wait and talk about it when he comes home from work today.
Sir started talking about how hard his cock was and how I should taste it. So with a great big smile on my face I started to suck him. I took this opportunity to reacquaint myself with his cock, the girth, the length, the head. When he started talking to me it made me want to please him more. So I went faster. He then demanded that I suck on his balls and I did, the more I heard him moan and tell me “good girl”, the harder I sucked. I made my way back up to his cock and began vigorously sucking until he came. By the end of it I was so wet, I wanted him to take me right then and there and fuck me hard. So again I was very proud that he was proud of me. He said now no matter what happened at his day at work its going to be a good day, which made me feel good. I’m thinking I should probably make a habit and do this every morning. He wakes up before me when I’m working so it wouldn’t be anything to wake up and give him a great send off…I think I’ve gone into it more confident in my ability to please him.
I promise I won’t write everyday about my awesome send offs. But just wanted to share my first couple and the thoughts I was having. Like I’ve said in earlier posts our sex life is going great with the D/s stuff but its the outside the bedroom that I am waiting to blossom. I know I must be patient.
Ok, I will admit it…in the past I have not been one to volunteer to suck Sir’s cock. I don’t know for some reason I am very self-conscious about it. I don’t think I do a good job. However this morning when Sir woke up, he told me to suck his cock (not ask, but told), and that right there made me want to suck his cock so bad.
So I went to work and listening to the sounds he made. The pleasure I was giving him, I wanted to please him more. So I went harder and faster. I felt like “Xena: Sex Goddess” or something. He then did something hes never done before, he put his hands on my head and pushed me down on his cock, taking it all in. It wasn’t too long until he exploded in my mouth and for some reason I don’t know how or why but his cum tasted so good. It was sweet. And I loved the way it felt going down my throat. I was so proud of myself. Sir was proud too. He whispered “Good Girl” to me and assured me I did good. For the first time I felt like I was good at sucking cock. I wanted to do it again but knew we were cut for time.
So now that I know that I can please him this way, I can kick my fears of thinking I don’t do a good job to the curb and just go for it. I had to write about it now, as I couldn’t go back to sleep I was so excited and proud of myself. (and yes Sir gets up at 4:30am for work, lol)
Love this song…since I am a musical person, it will help with my stress!!!
Ok, this is going to be a long post, sort of vanilla but it ties in to my D/s life. So I am forewarning you, its girly, but its about an important part of my life. My career.
So since we have decided to have a D/s relationship, the plan has always been for me to eventually to leave my career and stay at home so we can really be a 24/7 D/s couple. Actually that has been the plan before we started to get into D/s. As I have mentioned before I have Lupus and I’ve been diagnosed with it for 3 years. Been in my career for 6, so this happened after I started my career. My career is physically demanding and it is starting to weigh on me…literally, my body isn’t able to keep up anymore. Currently I am off work because my liver enzymes are elevated and my GI doctor has ordered some tests to find out the cause.
My workplace is struggling a little bit because they have 3 people on sick leave right now (not really my fault or my worry). However I do understand their frustration but to pick at me and suggest that I am abusing sick time (I have doctor’s note for every time I am absent for work) is just childish and unfair. I’m so tired of all the politics involved with my job. I’m tired of peoples attitudes towards me because I have a chronic illness. Me and Sir think its time for me to throw in the towel. He doesn’t think I need to put up with the stress that they cause because it is not good for my health. I will have to put up with their discrimination and sideways glances for the rest of my career if I decide to stay. I don’t really know if I can deal with this type of stress and keep my Lupus under control. Ok, so easy decision, right???
Wrong….and here’s why. Its pretty much financial but I’ll break it down for ya…For 6 years I’ve paid into our state retirement system. I am unsure if I retire medically (which I am eligible to do) how much of my retirement I would get. I was trying to make it to my 10 year mark that way I would get my full pension if I retired medically. With only 6 years in the system, I don’t know how much I would get. I know I wouldn’t get medical benefits if I medically retired now. I would still be covered under Sir’s work insurance but with me having a chronic illness, I need as much health insurance as I can get. I also have a couple of direct sales businesses that I could put my full energy in those and make extra money that way. I sell Nerium and Thirty-One.
If I medically retire, I would also be eligible to apply for disability. However you have to be out of work when you apply for disability. So we would have to be able to survive for a while on Sir’s salary and whatever I would get from medical retirement. Can we do that now? I’m unsure right now. Sorry I’m getting into a lot of unsure territory here but this is best venue for me to try to clear my head.
I am unsure how a lot of these things work, so this week I will be looking into all that by calling our state retirement systems to see how a medical retirement works, then I will call the social security disability office to know what I need in order to apply for it as well. I will also be talking to my doctor next week about filing for disability obviously he would have to be on board but I know he will be. He’s been very concerned about me working.
The last 24 hours I have been so stressed out thinking about the options. I have a constant headache, but hopefully everything will work out. I will keep you all updated on the progress.
So Sir is getting better at Dominating me, but I am being so impatient. I just want him to get it and do it quickly in the bedroom and outside the bedroom. He’s doing great inside the bedroom. I have never seen this side of him before and I like it a lot. But I have be patient. Which is something I’m not good at. We have a whole new lifestyle to learn and become accustom to. However, I am so impatient which I guess might be a bad quality in a submissive. I just have the yearning and the need to be dominated.
Last night we went to a wedding, a friend from Sirs work. It was a nice wedding, and we got to see some couples that I haven’t seen in a long time. Its been a while since the couples from his work had a dinner out. So the ladies caught up with each other. Sir was very gracious and let me have two alcoholic beverages. I slipped up a couple of times and called him Sir in front of everyone but I don’t think anyone paid any attention to it.
I know that this transition won’t happen overnight, especially for him. But I have seriously got to work on my impatience. I’ve got to understand that he’s got to do his research just like I had to do my research on becoming a submissive. Its going to take time. So while hes adjusting to that, I will definitely work on being patient. Any suggestions on how to do that????
So Sir has decided that we are turning one of our bedrooms in the basement into a play room. I am way too pumped for this. Our bedroom has a king size bed in it and it really doesn’t leave one for a lot of room to play. So he sent me on a shopping expedition to acquire a new bed for the play room. The above picture is what I found at Ashley furniture. Its a full sized poster bed. It also has storage drawers on the bottom which is super awesome. It got me so excited to make the purchase. Can’t wait until it gets here. Its going to take about 3-4 weeks for them to order it but I am still excited. I’m excited that we are going to have a play room, can’t wait to play in it. So I thought I would write a post about my uber-excitement (I mean really how many times did I write the word Excited in this post??????LOL).
So last nights fucking experience took an interesting turn. I didn’t even think there were going to be any activity at all. When I crawled into bed, Sir grabbed me up and started kissing me passionately. He pushed me on my back and lifted my night shirt over my face so I couldn’t see anything. He slowly kissed and then sucked on my left nipple. Then a very strange sensation he was biting my nipple. It felt so good. He did this for a few minutes then moved on to the right nipple and repeated. It felt so good, I wanted to cum but forced myself not to. He then kissed his way down to my pussy. It felt so good, again I wanted to cum. His tongue teasing my clit. He slid his fingers inside of me and it felt so good. He got rougher with each thrust of his hand. He towered over me, I guess he could feel that I was on the edge. I didn’t think I could hold it off any longer, then I heard “Cum for me,” and I did. Just the way he said it, no, it was the way he ORDERED it. I came hard, he didn’t give me a chance to recover, he shoved his cock inside of me and fucked me hard until I came again. Shortly after I came he came.
It was the most exciting sex we had ever had. I fucking loved every minute of it. Afterwards, I was so hot we had to turn the air up. I felt so grateful for Sir, I felt I was completely his. He ordered me to come and my body obeyed that order. It was great. I still can’t get over that. He held me until we fell asleep and called me his “good girl”. I was happy that he was happy with me. I fell into a deep sleep.
It can only get better from there. Sir gets up for work at 430 in the morning. I got up with him and asked if there was anything I could do to help him get ready. I had already made his lunch the night before. He said there was nothing, kissed my forehead and told me to go back to bed. I completely had forgotten about this encounter. I fell back into a deep sleep and didn’t wake up until 10 o’clock. Boy, I can’t wait to see what happens when things get more intense.
So I’ve been off work sick, my Lupus is acting up. I will be off for the next week trying to get my health under control so I can go back to work. So I’ve been trying to tend to the house and get used to my new role as submissive. Its been a little harder than I thought it would be, but I will soon get used to all the changes. I filled out a BDSM Checklist for Sir so he would know a little more about me sexually. I’m getting a little better at calling Sir, Sir and not his name. He’s been very lenient with me on that.
But earlier today I had a strange feeling come across me and I started questioning myself. Can I really do this? Can he do this? Are we really going to be able to do this? Among other things. It only lasted for about an hour but that hour seemed like 5 hours. I had to keep reassuring myself that we both can do this, that we both want to do this. I think the problem with me is I’m a perfectionist, but I know that we will make mistakes along the way and that every D/s relationship is different and that there is no one way to do things.
Last night on TLC I watched a special they were showing entitled “Submissive Wives Guide to Marriage”, it was about women who have chosen to be submissive to their husbands. They really didn’t talk about wither or not they have Kink in their relationships but the concept seems to be a lot like a D/s relationship minus the calling their husband Master or Sir. What kind of shocked me one of the women said “It takes a strong woman to submit, a weak woman would complain and moan about,” it really stuck with me and while I was asking myself all those questions this morning this woman’s voice came in my head and I was like “I am a strong woman, I can do this, I can be a submissive to my husband because I love him and appreciate him so much,” it was that moment that all the unsure feelings just kind of left me.
SUBJECT CHANGE: I don’t know if what I am writing is interesting or not but I’ve seen that I’ve gotten 6 followers which makes me very excited and I want to thank you guys that are following me. I appreciate you more than you know.
We both are new to this lifestyle. So its gonna take some patience from both of us to adjust. So last night was the first time we fucked since deciding to do this. I have to say that I was very impressed with Sir. He took total control of the situation (before he would not). His kisses were so passionate and forceful. I LOVED it. He picked me up and threw me on the bed,ripped off my pants and before I knew it he was in me. It was carnal, purely animalistic. Nothing like we have done before. I LOVED every minute it. He was so dominant.
I couldn’t remember if I was supposed to ask permission to cum, but I did anyway. He came shortly after I did. God it felt so good. His Domliness was turning me on completely. I have to say fucking was completely different than we have in the past. I think he enjoyed being in control. So this definitely is a good sign. The only thing I could suggest is that he slow it down a little and add a little foreplay. I love to be teased before being fucked. We talked afterwards and I conveyed my feelings and he understood.
I know we still have a lot to learn but I think we are off to a great start!
My parents divorced when I was 6 years old. Me and my father went to live with my grandmother who raised me. My mother had visitation rights but my grandmother and father thought because she was gay it wasn’t a good idea for me to stay the night at her house with her and her partner. So I didn’t see my mother as often as I would have loved to when I was young (but more on this a little later). As an outlet and dealing with the divorce my grandmother put me into dance. I fell in love with dance and spent the next 20 years dancing. I was raised to be Christian Baptist. Its something I still am. Although with our new found lifestyle choice I don’t know how accepted it would be. Bottom line I believe in the God, I believe that Jesus died for our sins, I believe in Heaven and Hell. What I don’t believe in is I have to go to church every Sunday, donate all my money, get involved in every church organization in order to get into heaven. And I definitely don’t believe in being pretentious or self righteous or “i’m more holier than you”.
I lost my father to lung cancer when I was 19. I lost my mother to lung cancer when I was 22. So both parents had passed. I felt like and orphan for a long time. I still had my grandmother but it wasn’t the same as having my mother and father to talk to. From the age of 16 I started to get very close to my mother and she became my best friend. I called her everyday. It was so hard for me to take her number out of my phone when she passed. It was even harder to fight the urge to call her everyday. It’s still hard for me Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Halloween (our favorite holiday). I still miss them everyday.
As a teenager I hid in dance. Ballet, Modern, and Jazz were my life. I went to a performing arts high school and danced at a studio. I didn’t go to parties or date or anything normal teenagers did. But I did find out at a young age that I did prefer white guys as opposed to black guys. Sure I had prom dates and almost relationships in high school. I didn’t lose my virginity until I was 18 years old. At nineteen I was engaged, that fell through quickly (I wonder why…lol). Then I was single until I met Sir.
I started my career with the government after I graduated from college with my Bachelors degree.
Me and Sir live in a quaint little house with our two Boxer dogs. We don’t have kids…yet. We will probably adopt because of the autoimmune disease I have it would be difficult to have children.
So I guess that’s more about me in a nutshell….until next time…stay kinky!!