So, I was going over my schedule today at my infusion. Its been pretty crazy since I got out of the hospital. Getting ready for Christmas and that business. Getting settled back into work and thinking about upcoming topics to write about in my blog. If that wasn’t busy enough I went and entered myself in two dog shows in January.
January 7th and 8th, I will be heading to Evansville for an obedience trial with Capone. January 14th and 15th I will showing Presco in a rally trial here. The following weekend I will be attending a seminar for dog handlers here. I’m not working a dog just auditing the seminar. Plus there is a cool play party that me and Sir want to attend. February, the 4th and 5th I am thinking about doing another rally trial here. But If I don’t have anyone to show then I wont do it. Then, we have Beat My Valentine the 17th, 18th, and 19th in Indianapolis. March 16th-19th is the Kentuckiana Cluster of dog shows. March 31st-April 2nd, Sir and I are going to Chicago with Capone to trial in an International Conformation show by our USA-Box klub. April 3rd-8th I will be travelling for work for training in Indianapolis. May 5-7th is the American Boxer Specialty in Indianapolis. May 14th-16th I am going to a submissive’s retreat intensive in Indianapolis. I’m really excited about that. And May 27th-28th is another obedience dog show in Evansville. June 10th-11th is Rally Fest in Evansville another dog trial. Don’t know for sure if I am going to go to that one.
So, the first 6 months of the year are going to be busy. I didn’t even mention the monthly local BDSM community stuff that will be going on. And I have to find time write about all these things here, lol. But that will be easy. I love writing about my little adventures wither it be in the dog show world or the kink world. Plus I will be writing about topics as they come and how me and Sir are doing in our D/s. Lots to write about, huh? LOL
OK so 2016 was an awful year me and Sir almost got a divorce (three times), I was hospitalized twice and countless Emergency Room visits. A lot of people I knew died this year. When I think of 2016 I wanna light that bitch on fire and forget it ever happened. The only thing to do now is to look forward to 2017 and what it will bring. I will not dwell on 2016.
Christmas was probably the beginning of the light at the end of the tunnel. Sir got me aa pink Under Armour hoodie. If you guys didn’t know I could be a spokesperson for Under Armour. I love their products, especially in the winter when I’m training my dogs outside. He noticed I didn’t have a pink one and pink is my favorite color so he got me one. He also got me an Under Armour Jacksonville Jaguar t-shirt as well. I got him a Nike Fleece outfit, hoodie and sweatpants. All he wears most of the time are sweatpants so I knew he would like it. He wore it on Christmas to his mom’s house and my grandmas house.
Oh wait, I almost forgot…someone got their collar back!!! Yay!!
So screw you 2016….come on 2017 lets do this!
Well Christmas makes me feel happy. Its a time where I get to see my wonderful in-law family and catch up with their lives. I look forward to it. I also secretly look forward to the gifts as well, lol. I love giving as well as receiving (in more ways then one *evil grin*). I love the look on my nieces faces when they open their presents. It makes me want to be a kid again. This Christmas is extra special, Sir and I have reconciled and I am lucky and happy to be back with him. That is gift enough for me. But he got me my favorite brand of hoodie Under Armour (I could be a spokes person), however I don’t own one in my favorite color…pink. So he got me that and a Under Armour T-shirt with our favorite teams logo the Jacksonville Jaguars. So I wore it earlier when we went over to my in-laws house for breakfast. And I will be wearing it this evening when we go over my grandmas house for dinner.
Breakfast was really nice this morning. Its always great listening to my nieces tell me what their parents got them for Christmas. They do Christmas at their house then come over to my mother-in-laws house as well. We decided since Sir’s father was just in the hospital that we would postpone our present giving until next weekend. So we just had a nice big family breakfast.
Christmas time to me is about family and being with the ones you love. Now family does not have to be a blood relative. People choose who are in their family. Well that’s my opinion on that.
I just wanted to say Merry Christmas to everyone! I hope your day is filled with love and joy! I am working on posts, so don’t worry I will be back soon. Of course I have to write about my 2017 goals soon as well. Well I’m off again Merry Christmas everyone!!!!
Because I’ve been in the hospital and my physical therapy wants me to hold off going back until I see my rehab doctor 6 weeks from now, I’ve been forced to resign from Feeder’s Supply. I have mixed feelings about this. I knew it probably wouldn’t last in the back of my mind but I tried so hard. I really appreciated the discount and it helped a lot financially. But on the other hand it makes me feel like I failed. I can’t help that I am sick. The manager seemed like he didn’t want to do it that HR was telling him he had to. But I also understand that my absence puts them in a bind as well with having to fill those hours. He has to think about whats best for the store and I understand that. I sent Sir a text about it but he hasn’t responded yet. I feel so bad right now…..
Yay! I’m going home tomorrow and I am so excited. I’ve been in the hospital for two weeks. While I would like to thank the wonderful doctors, nurses, and aides that took care of me, I’d definitely rather be home. I miss my puppies and I’m anxious to start over with Sir. I have so much to do when I get home but Saturday is reserved to spending time with the puppies and resting. Out of all the hospitalizations I’ve had in the past because of my Lupus this one I missed my dogs so much more. Maybe because the rehab facility had a therapy dog that I saw everyday. But I can’t wait to have them jumping all over me and giving me their sloppy boxer kisses.
Sunday I definitely have to get my hair done, its looks a hot mess. Sir says the house looks the same as I left it, which means it will need cleaning. I also need to take Mr. Presco to rally run thrus if we are going to show in January. Which I plan to the first and second full weekends. The first weekend I will be travelling with Mr.Capone so he can finish his Beginner Novice title. The second weekend I will be showing Mr. Presco in Rally Advanced. No travelling though. Also the mid-season finale of The Walking Dead is happening Sunday night too. So I will have a pretty busy Sunday.
I also have picked up a second job at a pet food store. I get a free 15lb bag of dog food a month and 15% discount on dog food, 30% discount on everything else in the store,which is awesome and will help out with us financially. I only work two or three nights a week. I don’t have to go back to that job until Wednesday night.
I still need to do a lot of things though, main thing is finish Christmas shopping. I also need to plan for 2017, dog shows, vacations, BDSM events. I’ve still been active in our local BDSM community. I have really made some great friends through that. Our community is so awesome. I still attend play parties, and monthly sub lunches. I still advocate that everyone try to become involved with their local community. I have a sub mom now, lol thats what I call her. She has been in the lifestyle with her Master/Husband for 15 years and she is mentoring me. Her Master isn’t mentoring Sir because he has just been diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease but he said he will be around for any questions that Sir might have for him. I think having them will help us find our dynamic again. We implemented our first rule, I have to text him t 740 am every morning with a good morning text. We are starting out simple and slow. We will talk more about rules and new expectations when I get home. I have a feeling it probably won’t happen until after the holidays because we will be so busy. Sirs father is also in the hospital but he’s expected to be released the 22nd so he will be home for Christmas.
Lots and Lots to do!!! Happy Friday, have a great weekend!!
So, today I volunteered to do domestic violence scenarios with our latest recruits. It was nice but made me miss being a police officer so much. Is there any way I can come back? Is all I kept thinking. I was talking to all the other role players which are sworn and my friends. They were saying it sucks that the department didn’t make accommodations for me because they’ve done it before. They all suggested I talk to our FOP President and see what can be done.
Well I finally heard back from him after having a glimmer of hope that I might be able to return to my position as a sworn police officer and be put off the street. He said it was impossible. The department does not have to accommodate me, and they probably won’t even entertain the idea because the need right now is on patrol. If I can get medically cleared totally it’s the only way. To go back to patrol and apply for detectives positions and hope I get one. Don’t know if my doctor will agree to that.
I should just let it go. Stay where I am. I just can’t let go. This was my dream for such a long time. I haven’t even turned in all my stuff yet. I will when I’m ready I guess. I just need to face facts. I am no longer a police officer and that part of my life is over. Get used to being in the civilian world and helping out the recruits when I can.
Its just been a really weird emotional day and Sir is working a double shift so I will be by myself all night with the doggies. Sometimes I hate being by myself. Especially when I feel so down. Maybe watching a good scary movie will help change my mood.
Well today’s post is gonna get a little mushy. I am talking about putting the pieces back together in our marriage and our D/s life. We are doing good with our marriage. We haven’t had time to look at the D/s part yet. Hopefully sometime this weekend. I have sat down with my former rules and kind of crossed out what I think is unrealistic or impossible because I have a job. I’m sure once Sir goes over it there will be more things crossed out. Sir is very serious about me not over doing it. And with me putting already putting in a lot of time with the dogs it doesn’t leave a lot of room for anything else.
I attended our local communities weekly coffee meeting last night. Sir worked a double so he couldn’t attend. It was nice to see people again. I had been gone from the local scene for a whole month while being in the hospital. I forgot how funny and great they are. Hopefully we can make it to the slosh on Friday night or the party on Saturday or maybe both. We will see what Sir says.
We are slowly starting to put the pieces together and I think that was what the problem was the first time. I think I was in too much of hurry to experience everything in this lifestyle. I got frustrated with Sir and that his timing wasn’t like my own. So now that we are on the same page we can start over again a little slower and a little bit wiser than we did before. I love Sir more than anything and I respect him. I trust him.
It’s hard being a submissive/slave with the hustle and bustle of life. At least I am finding it hard. Sir has postponed protocol until we have time to sit down and discuss my rules since I am working now. It’s awkward not doing things but to be honest between getting used to a new job and the dogs and being in the hospital for the month of April it is a relief.
I took my collar off when I had my mid life crisis (Mid-Life Crisis…) so I haven’t worn it and honestly I think that is what might be bothering me the most. I don’t feel like a submissive because I don’t have my collar on and I don’t have time to be a submissive right now. But after this weekend, things should be getting back to normal and hopefully I’m stronger and we can sit and talk and return to protocols. I miss them.
I just decided to write this small post because I’m sitting here at work and it is dead. This is my last hour and I know it’s going to go by slow. Sir said we would talk tonight before I leave for the dog show in Indianapolis (a two hour drive). Hopefully he will allow me to wear it.
So what else is going on, well it’s also Derby weekend here in Louisville. Yep we are the city that parties for two weeks straight only for 2 minutes of horse racing. Brings in a lot of celebrities. The Pegasus Parade was yesterday and guess what we had a double shooting. Some 14 year old piece of crap gang member shot two people for a gang retaliation. Ok for one this kid was stupid as hell does he not know the entire police department was at the parade minus the minimums that was on the beat. I mean you shoot someone in the middle of a parade surrounded by officers you are gonna get caught. So with the whole world watching us this week because of the Derby, we have a double shooting, how embarrassing for our city!
I am very excited about going to The Power Exchange Summit. I think both me and Sir will benefit from the classes and the experience in general. I really want to meet Dawn the co-creator of the event. I was supposed to go to a submissive intensive that she had put on in April but I was in the hospital and couldn’t go. I was so upset. But here’s a second opportunity to meet her. She’s a slave and I follow her and husband/Sir teachings. They wrote a book called “Living M/s” check it out, its a really great book. I read it in like two sittings, I was that much into it. Well I think I’ve written as much as I can for now. Look for a follow up post about this weekend and how Mr. Capone does. Have a great weekend guys!!!