What’s Been Going On….

Hello people in blogland…it has been a crazy month. I haven’t been able to pause to even write about it. Actually most of it is about normal life things and nothing kinky. But I’m still gonna bore you with details anyway lol…

Work: More projects and we have new people starting soon. New training stuff coming up. Great way to make me seem like I don’t belong there. Everyone else seems so much smarter than me. But oh well gotta keep going! Until I win the lottery at least…I guess I should start playing if I wanna win huh? LOL

Doggies: Started IPO training with Capone last week. Boy am I in for it physically. Geez! I spent this week ordering all kinds of stuff. Heeling sticks, balls on ropes, etc. oh and since its all done outside I needed to get my warm gear together. So I ordered some Arctix snow pants and weather appropriate boots (I’m serious about staying warm, lol). Capone has a long way to go with IPO but I plan on working hard with him. So, Mr. Presco is getting ready for his Rally Excellent debut next weekend. Another 2 trial day both Saturday and Sunday. We had run thrus today and they went pretty bad. I don’t think Presco likes the place that he’s going to be trialing at next weekend. But we will see. And Heidi is healing great from her surgery. She’s no longer wearing the cone of shame. A lot of my time away from things is because of training with the dogs. Capone has rally class on Tuesday nights. Wednesday nights the training club does obedience training, Thursday IPO/AKC obedience training for Capone and Sunday is IPO training for Capone. The premium for the cluster of dog shows in March came out so I’m trying to decided if I am going to show or if I’m just going to train and wait until May to show Capone again. I think I might just attend the cluster as a spectator and support my friends that are showing.

Kink: Well we didn’t make it to the play party this month. We did make it to the slosh and I made it to the sub lunch. I think the reason I didn’t go to the play party is I was disappointed. The week before the play party I had talked with some people and was going to have my first experience with Firecupping. I was really excited but then at the sub lunch plans apparently had changed without telling me or Sir. This person decided to scene with someone else and make it a big production. I was disappointed and Sir knew it so he didn’t really press the issue of going to the play party. I just think it was a little inconsiderate of the other party to change things and not even talk to me about it. But I’m way over that. The slosh was fun as usual, and I found a fellow boxer lover who’s a sub and we talked a lot. I was glad that Sir was able to go and he seemed at ease with talking to everyone. We should make February’s slosh and then we will be out of town for the kink event “Beat My Valentine” so it should be good times and a lot more for me to write about kink-wise.

Home: We’ve been doing good. It’s just been so busy around the house lately but we have really been working on it as a team. We just had to pay freakin $900 to fix a leak..ugh…oh the joys of home ownership! Any way other than that we have been working hard to get and keep the house clean.

So that’s whats been going on this month. February is looking a lot slower so I will have more time to blog and such! Plus I will have more interesting topics to write about.

 

Cheers for now

Ellie

Define Your Kink: Day 2

Day 2: Describe who you might submit to and how? Are you exclusively submissive in marriage or just the bedroom?

Well first off I’m only submitting to my husband, LOL. But the characteristics of a Dominant that I like are confidence, one who’s not afraid to take charge of situations, who is strict. I kind of need strict because I can be hard headed at times. One that knows what he wants and just takes it. I think Sir is perfect for me. When he develops himself and knows exactly what he wants, I think we will be a powerful D/s couple. He likes going to local events and so do I. Our community is very active, there is something going on almost every day of the week. You learn so much from the people that’s been doing this longer than you. Its important to always learn. If someone says they know everything about BDSM and don’t need to learn, they are lying. You always want to grow and learn new things in your relationship. Next month we are going to Beat My Valentine in Indianapolis. We are very excited to attend. This year will be different, lol. Last year we had a major hiccup and wasn’t able to attend classes (Beat My Valentine…D/s event!!). I would like to attend more D/s events. In May I am going to a servants retreat in Indianapolis. I’d like to go to Kinky Kollege in March but we have to look at that. Its in Chicago, which will be nice to visit. I would also like to go to  Power Exchange Summit. It’s in Columbus, OH. I always want to learn and dig deeper in my submission.

I am exclusively submissive in marriage. I am a submissive to Sir 24/7. I wear my collar 24/7. I personally believe you can’t get the whole effect of BDSM and D/s with only in the bedroom. Outside the bedroom you grow a bond that is like no other. You get stronger in your marriage. BDSM is not only about the kinky sex, its about growing a bond between your partner(s). I know it might be hard for married couples with children to do 24/7 but I would suggest try doing it as much as possible.

BDSM Relationship Reset

Awesome Post!!!

thekinkyworldofvile

We all get in a routine , we do the same ol thing day in and day out. The routine becomes such a habit we do not even realize it.
The same goes for relationships , the old routine , and up until last night I never gave it much thought until Arianna brought it up, and Reset was the word, a relationship lifestyle reset.

Now you could say the same thing about a vanilla relationship, but I really doubt you could pull your wife by the hair force her down to her knees, shove your cock in her mouth pump until you blow your load, bend her over the couch and force two fingers in her pussy and two in her ass and pump until your arm gives out, then put her in a cage. That does sound very interesting.

The routine , Yes Sir, No Sir, may I…

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“You’re not a good submissive”

I have a friend that was told that she wasn’t a good submissive because she didn’t do some things that the other submissive did with her Sir. I have a problem with this. Everyone’s D/s relationship is different and you cannot judge someone on things that are consensual between  partners.

I, too in the beginning would judge how submissives would act in public with their Doms. I wouldn’t tell them this in person but later I would talk to Sir about it and he would always say “That’s their thing, it doesn’t concern us,”. I quickly grew out of it when I started chatting with my sub mom. I call her my sub mom because she is more of a mentor to me. I came to learn that everyone’s dynamic is different and people don’t have to act the same. For example We are not poly (meaning you have more than one partner), I don’t knock someone for being poly it’s just not my thing. My sub mom is poly and I love her to pieces. I don’t think she’s doing anything wrong because of our differences.But this sub shaming has got to stop. I see it everyday in the groups Im involved in on Facebook and Fetlife. As long asthe sub isnt doing anything against their will then its not for you to tell them something is wrong. Again I stresd that everyones D/s relationship is different. Its fitted to mold to the one involved in the relationship and thats what I truly love about this lifestyle. What works you and yours may not work for me and mine but having the knowledge that it exists is extraordinarily powerful I feel. As a submissive I feel that knowledge is our power, the more we know about D/s the more we can shape it with our partner (s). Wither its readin a book, following a blog or just cruising the internet, educate yourself. I personally like The Submissive Guide website. They have a lot of great articles. So go educate yourself. 

Where Have I Been???

So…finally here’s the story. Me and Sir hit a very rough patch. I won’t get into the details but D/s and even our marriage almost ended. Its been a rough seven months. But we have decided to not give up on our marriage and D/s. 2017 will be the year we save our marriage. We are starting completely over with D/s, we both realized some major mistakes we made. I had unrealistic expectations for him and he wasn’t completely honest about how he was feeling about the whole thing. So we have decided to start completely over from scratch and go A LOT slower.

I wanted to come back to the blog to also document that things aren’t always rosy in the world of D/s we had a 7 month hiatus. So we start now, fresh and slower. So expect more posts from me documenting our journey.

As I write this I am in the hospital again. I had a Lupus flare up that left my legs so weak that I could not walk. I’ve been in the hospital for almost two weeks. I am starting to get strong again. Today I walked unassisted a small distance. I don’t think I’m ready to go home quite yet. Sir has been up here everyday. My doctors will make a decision on how much longer I will be here today.

Happy Blogaversary!!!

One year later…

128 Posts

110 Followers

Thank you guys so much for reading my blog. You are the reason I continue to do this. I have meet some remarkable people on this year long journey. I hope to continue writing and bettering myself at the skill. I don’t plan on doing any novel writing just getting in touch with my submissive self. Again THANK YOU so much for reading my blog and hanging in there with me through the good times and the bad. I hope you continue to enjoy my writings!

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Dear Newly Submissive Married Woman,

This is great for new and old people in D/s. Please read it. Great information!

The Submission of Elle

We need to talk; girl to girl, wife to wife, sub to sub. I have so much I need to tell you and you’ve been on my mind for a while. You deserve to hear the unadulterated truth about this new world you’ve chosen to pursue. It’s not as easy as being handed a key by your husband and unlocking a jewelry box filled with priceless gems. The overwhelming majority of you will have to carefully and strategically ease open this particular oyster that both you and your husband dug for together in order to acquire the precious pearl and you’ll have to use specific tools and techniques. Some of you may even open your own personal Pandora’s Box. Epimetheus insisted that his wife, Pandora, obey the letter of the label. Epimetheus left for a few hours, but Pandora’s gift of curiosity took over. The box was entrusted to them by Zeus, but she felt Zeus was wrong…

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2016 Goal List—Update

Remember in January I made a post entitled 2016 Goal List Do-Over…. Where I put some goals for that I had for 2016. I also said in three months that I would give an update how I am doing on these goals. Well here we go…

Physical: I’m not really eating healthier. I am cooking more than I was before but not 2-3 times a week due to getting used to my new job and being at a desk for 8 hours, ugh! I did have a month stay in the hospital in April. Which is why I did not write a lot during that time.

Career: This whole section has changed drastically. I am now a Crime Analyst for our police department. It’s a $4 pay cut but it still offers insurance which is what I need badly and I still get to use my degree. So from Monday-Friday 8-4 I am working at our police headquarters. So that has put my dream of a kennel business on hold. I am still training. I will be training a puppy sometime starting in June. A high school friend of mine also has a dance school and is in need of dance instructors and I applied for that. The more money I make the more I can put towards my future business.

Dog Goals: Presco earned his CD title in March. We are going to go for Rally Advanced title in June and July. Heidi got her RA title in January. We are going to start on her Rally Excellent title in June and July. I may try to get her CD, I think she might be ready for that. Our working Boxer klub has been put on hold for a second. All members have been insanely busy but we are hoping to meet this month and work our dogs.

Life: Well I’ve tried to stay in better contact with my friends. Always feel like I am bothering them though even though they say I’m not. We haven’t really been active in the BDSM community at all this year. We plan on going to things but the weather is bad or we are too tired. But we really gotta get back into our community. Our rules and protocols will be changing due to me getting a job. I have had a reader ask me to post what a day in my life looks like. Once we get the new protocols and rules in order, I will make a post concerning that.

Travel: Is going perfect, I am going to the Boxer national this weekend. We are going to The Power Exchange Summit in Columbus, OH at the end of the month. In June we will be going to a USA BOX show in Wisconsin, Capone will be trialing in Conformation. In July I will be going back to Columbus, OH for Thirty-One Conference.

Financial: Going in a totally different direction as well. With all the debt that me and Sir have acquired (mainly me) we both have decided that filing Bankruptcy is our final option to start over. However we don’t qualify for Chapter 7 because we both make too much money. So we have to file Chapter 13, which is a repayment plan. Creditors will be repaid in full but not at the interest rate that they want. We have a great lawyer that’s guiding us through the process. The whole repayment plan will be a 5 year deal and a payment that we can afford. If you are young and reading this make sure you get your finances together and don’t fall in the trap of credit cards, they are the devil. They will do nothing but hurt your credit or cause you to be obsessed with them and get too many like I did.

So overall my thoughts about my personal growth so far is “life happens”, all the plans I had kind of changed because of getting this new job, hospital stays, etc. You can plan out how you want your life to go but in the end it can change within a blink of an eye so don’t get so caught up on plans. Again in another three months I will make another update concerning my personal growth.