Kink of the Week: High Heels

Hmmn, my thoughts on high heels…I’m all for them. I used to wear them a lot. I think they are very sexy. However now that I’ve gained a little weight and got Lupus its hard for me to wear heels for a long period of time. I can wear the ones with a thick heel longer than a stiletto. High Heels accentuate your legs, especially if they are long. Well even if they are short they make your legs look longer.

We only dress up every once in a while and I’ll put on some heels but I always have a pair of flat shoes in my purse for if I have to change. I wonder what Sir thinks of heels. I’ve never asked him about it. I will have to asked him about it today.

http://kinkandpoly.com/kinkoftheweek/

Define Your Kink: Day 1

So a blog that I follow (Chasing Me, Chasing You) has come up with a 30 days to define your submission. 30 questions to answer to help you define your submission. I have decided to answer the questions here on my blog as well.

Day 1: Do you view your submission as: Taken in hand, domestic discipline, top/bottom, dominant/submissive, owner/pet, DD/lg; or some other description or combination? If you do not use a label, why?

I view my submission strictly as Dominant/submissive. I would like to add a little more domestic discipline into the relationship.We are taking things slow..a little too slow for my liking but we have to go at Sir’s pace and I understand that.

I know a lot of people don’t like labels but I do for some reason. Maybe its my obsession with structure I feel safe and secure knowing exactly what dynamic we are. I understand the people that don’t like labels and nothing against them it just isn’t for me.

Time…

So, I was going over my schedule today at my infusion. Its been pretty crazy since I got out of the hospital. Getting ready for Christmas and that business. Getting settled back into work and thinking about upcoming topics to write about in my blog. If that wasn’t busy enough I went and entered myself in two dog shows in January.

January 7th and 8th, I will be heading to Evansville for an obedience trial with Capone. January 14th and 15th I will showing Presco in a rally trial here. The following weekend I will be attending a seminar for dog handlers here. I’m not working a dog just auditing the seminar. Plus there is a cool play party that me and Sir want to attend. February, the 4th and 5th I am thinking about doing another rally trial here. But If I don’t have anyone to show then I wont do it. Then, we have Beat My Valentine the 17th, 18th, and 19th in Indianapolis. March 16th-19th is the Kentuckiana Cluster of dog shows. March 31st-April 2nd, Sir and I are going to Chicago with Capone to trial in an International Conformation show by our USA-Box klub. April 3rd-8th I will be travelling for work for training in Indianapolis. May 5-7th is the American Boxer Specialty in Indianapolis. May 14th-16th I am going to a submissive’s retreat intensive in Indianapolis. I’m really excited about that. And May 27th-28th is another obedience dog show in Evansville. June 10th-11th is Rally Fest in Evansville another dog trial. Don’t know for sure if I am going to go to that one.

So, the first 6 months of the year are going to be busy. I didn’t even mention the monthly local BDSM community stuff that will be going on. And I have to find time write about all these things here, lol. But that will be easy. I love writing about my little adventures wither it be in the dog show world or the kink world. Plus I will be writing about topics as they come and how me and Sir are doing in our D/s. Lots to write about, huh? LOL

2017 Goals

Physical

  • Eat healthier (make better choices, take lunch to work,)
  • Workout with Sir (1-2 times a week)
  • Continue with waxes
  • Continue with hair appts
  • Try to stay out of the hospital
  • Wear makeup more (stop being lazy)

Career

  • Learn Excel, Access, i2 programs
  • Get ahead in projects

Dog Goals

  • Heidi: Rally Excellent and Novice titles
  • Capone: Rally Advanced, Beginner Novice, and CGC titles
  • Presco: Rally Advanced

Travel

  • Beat My Valentine–Indianapolis, IN
  • Kinky Kollege–Chicago, IL
  • Servants Retreat–Indianapolis, IN
  • Dog Shows- Evansville, IN
  • FCI Dog Show-Chicago, IL
  • ABC National Specialty Dog Show-Indianapolis, IN

Life

  • Continue being involved in local community
  • Attend seminars and conferences about the lifestyle
  • Continue growing in D/s with Sir
  • Keep house cleaner

Relationship

  • Communicate, Communicate, Communicate!!!
  • Date night once a week
  • Workout together

Financial

  • Continue to get out of debt
  • Cut out on fast food
  • Cut out unnecessary spending

Smaller list than last year. I tried not to give myself unrealistic expectations. I will also do better about writing down the journey in this blog. I’m really concentrated this year on BDSM and the dogs getting their titles. My job also is in that too. I want to learn how to do more so I don’t feel like a complete idiot. Here’s to 2017 and my new goal list. Im guessing I hope you guys will be my accountability partners LOL. Help keep me on track.

Ok, so I wrote about all the bad things in 2016. At the end I am thankful for a lot:

* My wonderful Husband/Sir

* My boxer dogs.

* My job

* My in-law family

* My small family

* The ability to not want for anything. 

* My new kink family in my local community and online community

* The 132 followers I have on wordpress. Wow! It humbles me and moves me to tears that so many people like mt blog. I hope it helps. 

 

Happy New Year Everyone! Please be safe when going out tonight!!

Coming Home!!

Yay! I’m going home tomorrow and I am so excited. I’ve been in the hospital for two weeks. While I would like to thank the wonderful doctors, nurses, and aides that took care of me, I’d definitely rather be home. I miss my puppies and I’m anxious to start over with Sir. I have so much to do when I get home but Saturday is reserved to spending time with the puppies and resting. Out of all the hospitalizations I’ve had in the past because of my Lupus this one I missed my dogs so much more. Maybe because the rehab facility had a therapy dog that I saw everyday. But I can’t wait to have them jumping all over me and giving me their sloppy boxer kisses.

Sunday I definitely have to get my hair done, its looks a hot mess. Sir says the house looks the same as I left it, which means it will need cleaning. I also need to take Mr. Presco to rally run thrus if we are going to show in January. Which I plan to the first and second full weekends. The first weekend I will be travelling with Mr.Capone so he can finish his Beginner Novice title. The second weekend I will be showing Mr. Presco in Rally Advanced. No travelling though. Also the mid-season finale of The Walking Dead is happening Sunday night too. So I will have a pretty busy Sunday.

I also have picked up a second job at a pet food store. I get a free 15lb bag of dog food a month and 15% discount on dog food, 30% discount on everything else in the store,which is awesome and will help out with us financially. I only work two or three nights a week. I don’t have to go back to that job until Wednesday night.

I still need to do a lot of things though, main thing is finish Christmas shopping. I also need to plan for 2017, dog shows, vacations, BDSM events. I’ve still been active in our local BDSM community. I have really made some great friends through that. Our community is so awesome. I still attend play parties, and monthly sub lunches. I still advocate that everyone try to become involved with their local community.  I have a sub mom now, lol thats what I call her. She has been in the lifestyle with her Master/Husband for 15 years and she is mentoring me. Her Master isn’t mentoring Sir because he has just been diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease but he said he will be around for any questions that Sir might have for him. I think having them will help us find our dynamic again. We implemented our first rule, I have to text him t 740 am every morning with a good morning text. We are starting out simple and slow. We will talk more about rules and new expectations when I get home. I have a feeling it probably won’t happen until after the holidays because we will be so busy. Sirs father is also in the hospital but he’s expected to be released the 22nd so he will be home for Christmas.

Lots and Lots to do!!! Happy Friday, have a great weekend!!

Putting the pieces back together…

Well today’s post is gonna get a little mushy. I am talking about putting the pieces back together in our marriage and our D/s life. We are doing good with our marriage. We haven’t had time to look at the D/s part yet. Hopefully sometime this weekend. I have sat down with my former rules and kind of crossed out what I think is unrealistic or impossible because I have a job. I’m sure once Sir goes over it there will be more things crossed out. Sir is very serious about me not over doing it. And with me putting already putting in  a lot of time with the dogs it doesn’t leave a lot of room for anything else.

I attended our local communities weekly coffee meeting last night. Sir worked a double so he couldn’t attend. It was nice to see people again. I had been gone from the local scene for a whole month while being in the hospital. I forgot how funny and great they are. Hopefully we can make it to the slosh on Friday night or the party on Saturday or maybe both. We will see what Sir says.

We are slowly starting to put the pieces together and I think that was what the problem was the first time. I think I was in too much of hurry to experience everything in this lifestyle. I got frustrated with Sir and that his timing wasn’t like my own. So now that we are on the same page we can start over again a little slower and a little bit wiser than we did before. I love Sir more than anything and I respect him. I trust him.

 

2016 Goal List—Update

Remember in January I made a post entitled 2016 Goal List Do-Over…. Where I put some goals for that I had for 2016. I also said in three months that I would give an update how I am doing on these goals. Well here we go…

Physical: I’m not really eating healthier. I am cooking more than I was before but not 2-3 times a week due to getting used to my new job and being at a desk for 8 hours, ugh! I did have a month stay in the hospital in April. Which is why I did not write a lot during that time.

Career: This whole section has changed drastically. I am now a Crime Analyst for our police department. It’s a $4 pay cut but it still offers insurance which is what I need badly and I still get to use my degree. So from Monday-Friday 8-4 I am working at our police headquarters. So that has put my dream of a kennel business on hold. I am still training. I will be training a puppy sometime starting in June. A high school friend of mine also has a dance school and is in need of dance instructors and I applied for that. The more money I make the more I can put towards my future business.

Dog Goals: Presco earned his CD title in March. We are going to go for Rally Advanced title in June and July. Heidi got her RA title in January. We are going to start on her Rally Excellent title in June and July. I may try to get her CD, I think she might be ready for that. Our working Boxer klub has been put on hold for a second. All members have been insanely busy but we are hoping to meet this month and work our dogs.

Life: Well I’ve tried to stay in better contact with my friends. Always feel like I am bothering them though even though they say I’m not. We haven’t really been active in the BDSM community at all this year. We plan on going to things but the weather is bad or we are too tired. But we really gotta get back into our community. Our rules and protocols will be changing due to me getting a job. I have had a reader ask me to post what a day in my life looks like. Once we get the new protocols and rules in order, I will make a post concerning that.

Travel: Is going perfect, I am going to the Boxer national this weekend. We are going to The Power Exchange Summit in Columbus, OH at the end of the month. In June we will be going to a USA BOX show in Wisconsin, Capone will be trialing in Conformation. In July I will be going back to Columbus, OH for Thirty-One Conference.

Financial: Going in a totally different direction as well. With all the debt that me and Sir have acquired (mainly me) we both have decided that filing Bankruptcy is our final option to start over. However we don’t qualify for Chapter 7 because we both make too much money. So we have to file Chapter 13, which is a repayment plan. Creditors will be repaid in full but not at the interest rate that they want. We have a great lawyer that’s guiding us through the process. The whole repayment plan will be a 5 year deal and a payment that we can afford. If you are young and reading this make sure you get your finances together and don’t fall in the trap of credit cards, they are the devil. They will do nothing but hurt your credit or cause you to be obsessed with them and get too many like I did.

So overall my thoughts about my personal growth so far is “life happens”, all the plans I had kind of changed because of getting this new job, hospital stays, etc. You can plan out how you want your life to go but in the end it can change within a blink of an eye so don’t get so caught up on plans. Again in another three months I will make another update concerning my personal growth.

TGIF!!!

Yes!! Thank God It’s Friday!!! I’m glad I can say that and it actually be Friday. With my last job my “Fridays” were normally during the week, like Tuesday or Wednesday. Not anymore now I have Monday-Friday 8-4 gig. But any who, Today  was my first day back since my 3 week hospital stay. I was sluggish, yeah. And it took me a while to get myself together. I had over 700 emails I had to check. Plus I had to leave in the middle of the day to get my Benlysta Infusion. I was hoping that my infusion would help me feel a little better. But it didn’t. I still felt tired and heavy, and my voice sounded awful because of the cough I’ve had for the last 3 months that I can’t get to go away. Doctors said it’s because of my lung disease and I probably will always have it. Ugh! It reminds me of my father. He had a terrible smokers cough and when I was little and had dance recitals on video tape you could always hear him coughing and it was a little embarrassing. Although no one knew who it was coughing it was dark in the audience but in my little mind everyone know it was my dad. Anyway, so now I have a cough that annoys the crap out of me.

We have no big plans for this weekend. Normally when I get my infusions the next few days are required rest because I’m so tired. Sunday I plan on having Capone out training all day. First we are going to go to Rally @11, then Schutzund Training @2. So Saturday I will be resting all day, which is good I hear it’s supposed to rain all day anyway.

Things are slowly getting back to normal with me and Sir. We went to dinner tonight and grocery shopping together. We are talking to each other more. I think a start over was something we really needed. We plan to dig a little more deeper into our roles and find out what works for us and what doesn’t work for us. We will revisit our contract and my rules and make them a little more conducive to our life. When we first made them I wasn’t working and now that I am we need to take that into account. So look for an updated rules section soon.

I plan on discussing certain topics again on the blog soon, once life falls back into a comfortable place. Right now I’m still trying to get caught up with work, dog shows, and normal life. Hope all of you are doing well!

 

 

 

Mid-Life Crisis…

Whew! Well A LOT has happened since I last wrote. I have pondered back and forth wither or not I should write about it all. Because it is a lot. But here goes.

Apparently I have had a mid-life crisis and tried to convince myself that Sir wasn’t the right person for me and that I needed to be divorced and start all over again. So much that I even went to talk to a lawyer. I shared my “feelings” with Sir and of course he was heartbroken. After a couple days of living in awkward silence, I finally saw my therapist and she gave some exercises to do and things to think about. I realized that I was having a mid-life crisis or something like that. How could I ever think about leaving my wonderful Sir. WTF? I mean really? He is the perfect man for me. He is honorable, loyal, and he’s my best friend. That was purely the devil trying to break us apart…and he almost won.

When I went to tell Sir, I ended up in the hospital. I had a bad Fibromyalgia flare and could not walk. I was admitted to the hospital and put on heavy pain meds and steroids in 4 hour shifts. I decided I was going to tell him anyway. But I had to make sure that he knew that it wasn’t the pain meds talking. That it was me. We have decided to start over again…our D/s and everything. We admitted we both have issues that we need to work on but together we can get through it. I was in the hospital for 3 days before being transferred to a Rehabilitation Center to get strength back in my legs so I can walk again. I am currently still here in Rehab. Sir has been up here every single day after work and taking care of the dogs.

We seem to be starting things slowly. Once I get home and things get back to normal, I believe we will be ok. Currently I can walk again without a walker. But I am now trying to build up endurance because I cant walk for very long without having to take a break. I have PT and OT 3 times a day each. So my day is pretty much filled up and in the evening Sir comes and has dinner with me and we watch tv for a while. I am scheduled to be discharged on Wednesday.

So hopefully will be writing more as well. Missed writing so much. But have been a little busy.

Beat My Valentine…D/s event!!

So two weeks ago me and Sir went to an event titled “Beat My Valentine”, it was a lovely event filled with classes during the day and dungeon parties at night. We knew another couple that was going. So we were very excited to go.

We got there Friday night, because we were told there was a social gathering “vanilla”, in the bar scene of the hotel. So we attended. It was a fun night..of what I can remember. So apparently the bartender were making the drinks very strong. Sir had 3 Long Island Iced Teas and decided after the third one he had had enough and he went back to the room. He allowed me to stay and chat with the other submissives. I met a submissive that has lupus as well and we talked about the struggle. Then after that….I don’t remember a lot. LOL. I think I had one too many. So I had to be escorted back to my room by a submissive that I knew. When we got back to the room, Sir had apparently thrown up EVERYWHERE! He was still awake and feeling bad. The submissive that took me back to my room is also a nurse. She gave us both Zofran and put us to bed. I am telling you this through a third party telling me about it the next day. I found some selfies on my phone of people that I don’t even remember talking to. Definitely over did it on the drink situation for both of us..LOL

So we were supposed to go to classes all day Saturday. Well we didn’t wake up until noon. So we went to go get something to eat. Sir wasn’t feeling his best, I was ok, I just didn’t remember what happened after Sir had gone up to the room. So we skipped classes and went to the dungeon party that night. It was nice. There were vendors there. This one called “Steel Bones” they make corsets, which is an addiction of mine. But they were really priced high..$180 per corset so I will have to be saving up to get one. They definitely felt good when I tried them on. Sir liked them too. We went into the Dungeon space where we witnessed a submissive in a scene being beat with a rubber fish…interesting….Other scenes were the same ones we’d seen before a lot of rope play. By 11:00PM we were tired so we went back up to the room.

Sir did not play with me as he was not feeling like himself. Overall our first big BDSM Event went nicely. We slowly introduced ourselves into it. It was nice to hang out with so many people who are interested in the same thing. It was also nice to get away from the doggies for a minute too.