Well Christmas makes me feel happy. Its a time where I get to see my wonderful in-law family and catch up with their lives. I look forward to it. I also secretly look forward to the gifts as well, lol. I love giving as well as receiving (in more ways then one *evil grin*). I love the look on my nieces faces when they open their presents. It makes me want to be a kid again. This Christmas is extra special, Sir and I have reconciled and I am lucky and happy to be back with him. That is gift enough for me. But he got me my favorite brand of hoodie Under Armour (I could be a spokes person), however I don’t own one in my favorite color…pink. So he got me that and a Under Armour T-shirt with our favorite teams logo the Jacksonville Jaguars. So I wore it earlier when we went over to my in-laws house for breakfast. And I will be wearing it this evening when we go over my grandmas house for dinner.

Breakfast was really nice this morning. Its always great listening to my nieces tell me what their parents got them for Christmas. They do Christmas at their house then come over to my mother-in-laws house as well. We decided since Sir’s father was just in the hospital that we would postpone our present giving until next weekend. So we just had a nice big family breakfast.

Christmas time to me is about family and being with the ones you love. Now family does not have to be a blood relative. People choose who are in their family. Well that’s my opinion on that.

Merry Christmas!!

I just wanted to say Merry Christmas to everyone! I hope your day is filled with love and joy! I am working on posts, so don’t worry I will be back soon. Of course I have to write about my 2017 goals soon as well. Well I’m off again Merry Christmas everyone!!!!

Well there goes that job….

Because I’ve been in the hospital and my physical therapy wants me to hold off going back until I see my rehab doctor 6 weeks from now, I’ve been forced to resign from Feeder’s Supply. I have mixed feelings about this. I knew it probably wouldn’t last in the back of my mind but I tried so hard. I really appreciated the discount and it helped a lot financially. But on the other hand it makes me feel like I failed. I can’t help that I am sick. The manager seemed like he didn’t want to do it that HR was telling him he had to. But I also understand that my absence puts them in a bind as well with having to fill those hours. He has to think about whats best for the store and I understand that. I sent Sir a text about it but he hasn’t responded yet. I feel so bad right now…..

Coming Home!!

Yay! I’m going home tomorrow and I am so excited. I’ve been in the hospital for two weeks. While I would like to thank the wonderful doctors, nurses, and aides that took care of me, I’d definitely rather be home. I miss my puppies and I’m anxious to start over with Sir. I have so much to do when I get home but Saturday is reserved to spending time with the puppies and resting. Out of all the hospitalizations I’ve had in the past because of my Lupus this one I missed my dogs so much more. Maybe because the rehab facility had a therapy dog that I saw everyday. But I can’t wait to have them jumping all over me and giving me their sloppy boxer kisses.

Sunday I definitely have to get my hair done, its looks a hot mess. Sir says the house looks the same as I left it, which means it will need cleaning. I also need to take Mr. Presco to rally run thrus if we are going to show in January. Which I plan to the first and second full weekends. The first weekend I will be travelling with Mr.Capone so he can finish his Beginner Novice title. The second weekend I will be showing Mr. Presco in Rally Advanced. No travelling though. Also the mid-season finale of The Walking Dead is happening Sunday night too. So I will have a pretty busy Sunday.

I also have picked up a second job at a pet food store. I get a free 15lb bag of dog food a month and 15% discount on dog food, 30% discount on everything else in the store,which is awesome and will help out with us financially. I only work two or three nights a week. I don’t have to go back to that job until Wednesday night.

I still need to do a lot of things though, main thing is finish Christmas shopping. I also need to plan for 2017, dog shows, vacations, BDSM events. I’ve still been active in our local BDSM community. I have really made some great friends through that. Our community is so awesome. I still attend play parties, and monthly sub lunches. I still advocate that everyone try to become involved with their local community.  I have a sub mom now, lol thats what I call her. She has been in the lifestyle with her Master/Husband for 15 years and she is mentoring me. Her Master isn’t mentoring Sir because he has just been diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease but he said he will be around for any questions that Sir might have for him. I think having them will help us find our dynamic again. We implemented our first rule, I have to text him t 740 am every morning with a good morning text. We are starting out simple and slow. We will talk more about rules and new expectations when I get home. I have a feeling it probably won’t happen until after the holidays because we will be so busy. Sirs father is also in the hospital but he’s expected to be released the 22nd so he will be home for Christmas.

Lots and Lots to do!!! Happy Friday, have a great weekend!!

Where Have I Been???

So…finally here’s the story. Me and Sir hit a very rough patch. I won’t get into the details but D/s and even our marriage almost ended. Its been a rough seven months. But we have decided to not give up on our marriage and D/s. 2017 will be the year we save our marriage. We are starting completely over with D/s, we both realized some major mistakes we made. I had unrealistic expectations for him and he wasn’t completely honest about how he was feeling about the whole thing. So we have decided to start completely over from scratch and go A LOT slower.

I wanted to come back to the blog to also document that things aren’t always rosy in the world of D/s we had a 7 month hiatus. So we start now, fresh and slower. So expect more posts from me documenting our journey.

As I write this I am in the hospital again. I had a Lupus flare up that left my legs so weak that I could not walk. I’ve been in the hospital for almost two weeks. I am starting to get strong again. Today I walked unassisted a small distance. I don’t think I’m ready to go home quite yet. Sir has been up here everyday. My doctors will make a decision on how much longer I will be here today.

Real Life Sets In….

So, today I volunteered to do domestic violence scenarios with our latest recruits. It was nice but made me miss being a police officer so much. Is there any way I can come back? Is all I kept thinking. I was talking to all the other role players which are sworn and my friends. They were saying it sucks that the department didn’t make accommodations for me because they’ve done it before. They all suggested I talk to our FOP President and see what can be done.

Well I finally heard back from him after having a glimmer of hope that I might be able to return to my position as a sworn police officer and be put off the street. He said it was impossible. The department does not have to accommodate me, and they probably won’t even entertain the idea because the need right now is on patrol. If I can get medically cleared totally it’s the only way. To go back to patrol and apply for detectives positions and hope I get one. Don’t know if my doctor will agree to that.

I should just let it go. Stay where I am. I just can’t let go. This was my dream for such a long time. I haven’t even turned in all my stuff yet. I will when I’m ready I guess. I just need to face facts. I am no longer a police officer and that part of my life is over. Get used to being in the civilian world and helping out the recruits when I can.

Its just been a really weird emotional day and Sir is working a double shift so I will be by myself all night with the doggies. Sometimes I hate being by myself. Especially when I feel so down. Maybe watching a good scary movie will help change my mood.

Putting the pieces back together…

Well today’s post is gonna get a little mushy. I am talking about putting the pieces back together in our marriage and our D/s life. We are doing good with our marriage. We haven’t had time to look at the D/s part yet. Hopefully sometime this weekend. I have sat down with my former rules and kind of crossed out what I think is unrealistic or impossible because I have a job. I’m sure once Sir goes over it there will be more things crossed out. Sir is very serious about me not over doing it. And with me putting already putting in  a lot of time with the dogs it doesn’t leave a lot of room for anything else.

I attended our local communities weekly coffee meeting last night. Sir worked a double so he couldn’t attend. It was nice to see people again. I had been gone from the local scene for a whole month while being in the hospital. I forgot how funny and great they are. Hopefully we can make it to the slosh on Friday night or the party on Saturday or maybe both. We will see what Sir says.

We are slowly starting to put the pieces together and I think that was what the problem was the first time. I think I was in too much of hurry to experience everything in this lifestyle. I got frustrated with Sir and that his timing wasn’t like my own. So now that we are on the same page we can start over again a little slower and a little bit wiser than we did before. I love Sir more than anything and I respect him. I trust him.


Happy Blogaversary!!!

One year later…

128 Posts


Thank you guys so much for reading my blog. You are the reason I continue to do this. I have meet some remarkable people on this year long journey. I hope to continue writing and bettering myself at the skill. I don’t plan on doing any novel writing just getting in touch with my submissive self. Again THANK YOU so much for reading my blog and hanging in there with me through the good times and the bad. I hope you continue to enjoy my writings!


Dear Newly Submissive Married Woman,

This is great for new and old people in D/s. Please read it. Great information!

The Submission of Elle

We need to talk; girl to girl, wife to wife, sub to sub. I have so much I need to tell you and you’ve been on my mind for a while. You deserve to hear the unadulterated truth about this new world you’ve chosen to pursue. It’s not as easy as being handed a key by your husband and unlocking a jewelry box filled with priceless gems. The overwhelming majority of you will have to carefully and strategically ease open this particular oyster that both you and your husband dug for together in order to acquire the precious pearl and you’ll have to use specific tools and techniques. Some of you may even open your own personal Pandora’s Box. Epimetheus insisted that his wife, Pandora, obey the letter of the label. Epimetheus left for a few hours, but Pandora’s gift of curiosity took over. The box was entrusted to them by Zeus, but she felt Zeus was wrong…

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