- Does your Dominant have rules in place to sequester your negative thoughts when you are overwhelmed by emotion?
Yes, I am a very emotional person. So when I get overwhelmed its the perfect time to talk Sir. He helps me calm down and we try to figure out the problem. I am not supposed to think negative thoughts about myself. It is one of my rules.
2. What Can you do to get yourself past emotional times?
I normally try to write wither its in my journal or on this blog. Writing seems to help me get my emotions in check. I also rely on the fact that Sir will help me through with his calming demeanor. I try to analyze the reason why I am so emotional and think if there is anything that I can do about it. If its something that is out of my control (most times it is) then I try let it go in my mind because I can’t change it. If it’s something that I can change then I start a plan on how to change it. I guess I just try to be constructive with the emotions that I am feeling.
3. Do you know what triggers your most emotional lows?
Well here lately, it’s kind of a lot of things. Medical retirement is a major reason I get emotional. Its hard giving up your career that you have prepared yourself for since you were 16. Especially when it isn’t your choice. My heart is in policing trust me it is. But my body just won’t let me do it anymore. I have accepted that. However it doesn’t make me feel happy about retiring. I haven’t really had a big emotional breakdown about it but I’m sure that will come when I have to turn in my gear. I hope they don’t through me a party, because I will be emotional then too. I don’t know. I hate that I have to give up my career but I am grateful that I got to do it for the past 6 years. But this whole retirement process has me on an emotional roller coaster.
Another thing that triggers emotional lows in my disease. When I can’t do things like play, or even go to events because of my illness. It sucks and I feel useless. I want to do things but sometimes my body is just so worn out it really needs rest. I get upset that I can’t do things when my diseases flare up. I get frustrated and Sir has to help me calm down. He assures me that this is something that I can’t help and people will understand that I have to cancel plans because I’m not feeling well.
Another trigger for me is the anniversary of my parent’s death and their birthdays. I’m always sad and thinking about them. Sir tries to keep me in good spirits on those days but its very hard. I think about all that they have missed that’s gone on in my life. I would love to have had them at my wedding and I would love to have a mom that I can go to for advice and talk to. I miss them so much. Speaking of that yesterday was my father’s death anniversary 12 years ago he passed away from lung cancer. I was a daddy’s girl so it was really hard adjusting to not having him around. Oh how I wish he could’ve met Sir. He would have loved him and been his friend.