Feeling Inadequate….

So now for a serious post. I am feeling like I’m not being as good of a submissive as I could be. I have been thinking about it. I haven’t been offering myself to Sir like I should be. I should offer myself to him every day. In the beginning I did the morning send off religiously. Now I’ve gotten laxed and only do it when Sir asks for it. He shouldn’t have to ask for it. It should be automatic. I just had this realization. Part of the reason I’ve become laxed is my health hasn’t been the best in the past couple of weeks. The closer I get to time for my Infusion the more breakthrough pain or fatigue I get and I had my infusion Friday so I should be feeling better. But that is only half of the story.

I still feel a little amateur-ish in the area of sucking cock. Sir thinks I do great, and I guess that’s all that matters really. but I read a lot of other people’s blogs and it seems like they suck their master’s cock all the time. I don’t really and I think it’s my fault. I don’t offer to suck his cock. I’m sure he’d like it if I did it more. I guess I need to get my little submissive ass in gear. I mean really the other day he to ask for it and I felt so bad. 1. He shouldn’t be ASKING for it, he should be demanding if anything. But he shouldn’t even have to be doing that.

I always thought that I was terrible at sucking cock and I guess I’ve let that fear take over myself. I’m guessing the more I do it the more comfortable I will be. But again it’s not about wither or not I feel comfortable, its about pleasing my Sir. But how am I supposed to do that when I feel like I’m not good at something? Even though Sir says it’s great, I feel like its not up to par. That I could be better. I guess every submissive should have a goal or something they want to improve on. I don’t know exactly what I do wrong when I’m doing it but I feel like something could be better. It might be the perfectionist in me, I don’t know.

Sir has been very lenient on me the past few weeks because of my health. But in a couple days I will be back to my normal self and I look forward to being a better submissive for my Sir. I hate it when my health gets in the way of my submission. Once you get into a rhythm of something and things are routine then Lupus comes and screws it all up. What do you do as a submissive when you feel like you aren’t enough or that you are broken???? Would love to get some feedback from any fellow submissives who read this blog.

7 thoughts on “Feeling Inadequate….

  1. Learning to turn off the unworthy, not good enough voices that ran around in my brain that led me to be unforgiving of flaws that He didn’t see was a lesson that Master taught early on. Have you opened up to your sir about these thoughts and asked for his help and validation? Surprisingly, these were my fears, not his. Let him help you, sweetie. ~~ tasha 💜

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  2. I think I have fallen into that same troublesome way of being a submissive when asked, when it use to be i would offer myself at every waking moment. So you aren’t alone when it comes to that. As far as sucking cock pointers I have a few tricks that I have learned over the years. I big thing is you want to make sure you aren’t neglecting the tip as well as the balls. Most people focus on just stroking back and forth of one day tickle his balls while his whole dick is in your mouth, or you can run your tongue around the tip of the head and/or the rim of the head. Ad finally, as far as being sick, I understand not being able to be useful to your Master (for me I am a full time college student with a job). The best thing to when you are unable of submitting is (in m personal opinion is to set something above and beyond as your comeback. Kinda like a “grand romantic gesture” but with a BDSM twist to it to show your Sir that you are ready to get back on the horse 😉 lol I hope I helped some.

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  3. Talk to my Master. I make such little things become huge ones when I starting overthinking anything. In the span of a very short time I can make myself a nervous wreck of insecurity if I don’t just talk to Him. I understand sometimes the words just don’t come out or you just can’t figure out exactly how to explain what your concern is but together you’ll figure it out. ~ kitten

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  4. I can understand this. I believe is not unusually so don’t fret to much.. give yourself credit for even thinking about submitting more. That’s a awesome sign of your willingness to submit and that, my friend, cannot be taught. Willingness is the foundation. Acts of submission are the fruits. One cannot live on fruit alone. You sound like an awesome sub. Your post exhibits a moment on the precipice of growth. Baby steps. Time cannot be conquered in a day. Thoughts become actions. Your thoughts are right on target. Kudos. As for giving oral, my best work is done when I can eliminate all mental distractions. Kind of like meditation. Each man is going to have their own likes and dislikes. What works for one may not be pleasurable to another, through my experience at least. Maybe ask for some verbal feedback from him during the oral stimulation. That’s helped me with my Master. Again, it’s baby steps and the best adventure is the journey. There won’t be a right of wrong way of your submission, it’ll be defined by the bond you two share. Congrats on finding a path and enjoy the experience.

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