Busy, Surgery, New Dog, Busy!!!!

Hola!! I know I’ve been MIA for a bit but I have a good excuse LOL….I’ve been preparing for the arrival of our new Boxer tomorrow. Getting his training regiment together. I plan on showing him in AKC starting in August, so that means we gotta hit the training circuit hard and fast. He’s from Spain and his commands are in Serbian however my breeder has been working with him on learning German. So thats something I will continue. Its gonna be tough but I think we will get through it. He has his IPO1 title which includes obedience, bite work, and tracking so I’m sure he can handle AKC competition once we get our communication issues straightened out.

Another reason, I’ve been trying to get the house clean because yesterday I had surgery and I will be out of commission for about a week.

I had surgery on my smart port that’s in my chest. I originally was going to have it removed because I kept getting sheths at the end of the tubing. Pretty much my body was rejecting it. But when I got to talk to the surgeon before the surgery he said he thought he could fix it by replacing the port and making the tubing longer. He said we should try this first because my veins are terrible and how would I get my infusions if we took it out. So right before surgery, the surgery changed lol.

Surgery wasn’t bad, I woke up towards the end and started talking to the surgeon about my Boxer dogs and the new dog that is coming LOL. Sir went with me and he’s been taking real good care of me. Making sure I take my meds and he told me that protocols are on hold until I heal up…except for calling him Sir of course.

So today is day two and the medication I initially got has completely worn off and I am sore as hell. It hurts to raise my right arm and turn my head. So now I’m relying on pain medication to keep me ok, which is good but it completely knocks me out.

So in a nutshell that is why I’ve been MIA lately. Since I am just sitting here, I will probably write more this week. Too bad there won’t be any Kink but hey I’m sure you guys like hearing other things from me every once in a while lol. I’m also thinking about doing the 30 days of kink for July. That way you get a little bit of kink from me.

Disability

So, I’m doing my first Wicked Wednesday prompt. The topic this week is disability….something I know all too well. Seeing as I am taking a disability retirement from my job.

So where do I begin….I probably should have retired medically sooner. I was afraid of being labeled disabled at such a young age. I didn’t want to face up to it so I kept on going, pushing through. Going to work when I wasn’t feeling good, when I knew I should be in bed resting. When I knew I couldn’t protect and serve. Just hoping that nothing serious would happen on the job. Nobody knows about that struggle except for Sir. So no one saw when I was throwing up behind my car…or in so much pain I was in tears. Nope, nobody saw that. I ALWAYS put the job first. I had wanted this career since I was 16 years old. I was going to fight my hardest to stay. So realizing that I could not physically do my job anymore hurts. I am still dealing with the reality of the situation. And I’m glad I have my therapist to guide me through it.

When I did call in and was on sick leave no one believed I was sick because they couldn’t see it. Lupus is called an invisible illness because you can’t physically see the marks it leaves. My Lupus attacks my Lungs, Joints, Blood, Digestive System, and now my Liver. You can’t see the damage its doing. So its hard for people to believe. Especially when there isn’t much talk about Lupus. When you hear someone has Cancer everyone feels sorry for them and they know its a serious disease because there is so much awareness about it. Lupus awareness doesn’t hold a candle to Cancer awareness and yet I feel it is as serious as Cancer. People die everyday from Lupus complications.

So here we are filing for medical disability retirement. I have to get all my medical records which consists of 9 specialist and over a span of 4 years. So that’s a lot of records to get together. Currently I am waiting on two doctors offices to get in touch with me to tell me that my medical records are ready. My Psychiatrist and my Gastroenterology Offices haven’t contacted me yet. But it hasn’t been a full two weeks yet either. I have all my other records ready to be sent to retirement board.

So lately disability has been a term used A LOT for me. I am no longer afraid of being labeled disabled. I am happy I got to do my job for the time I did. Its just something beyond my control. It’s not like I purposefully did something to get Lupus and become disabled. So I look forward to the new chapter of my life with Sir.

Wicked Wednesday... a place to be wickedly sexy or sexily wicked

Sex on Vacation!!

Well since the sun and activities were draining we didn’t have a lot of sex. But the sex we did have was amazing. We had great shower sex. The shower in our condo was huge! I loved Sir taking charge and just taking me. It felt great.

We also tried Anal for the first time. We definitely used a lot of lube and Sir went slow. It was an amazing feeling. Sir kept asked if I was ok. I was doing great. It was a great sensation and he was able to go all the way in on the first time. It was great. Sir said he liked it a lot, so I’m sure we will do it more often.

So sorry this post is very short but there really wasn’t much to write about. Wish we had the energy and time to play with the toys I brought but we didn’t.

Vacation Recap!

Whew! Its definitely been a while since I wrote. I apologize I have been completely busy. But I am back now.

So our vacation to Savannah was great after I got used to the heat. The first day was probably the worst because I didn’t know about the heat. We got there around 3pm, which is the high heat of the day. We were hungry so we decided to go to a place called Sweet Melissa’s. I was in charge of navigation. Everywhere we went was on foot, our condo was that close to everything. So I got the directions to the restaurant and off we went. It was only 4 minutes away. So we began walking in the direction, (I thought), we were supposed to go. I looked at my phone and it now said 6 minutes away. So I said to Sir “Oh we aren’t walking fast enough speed up”, a while later I looked at my phone it said we were 7 minutes away. I was confused. Sir put the address in his phone and then he looked and said, “We are going the wrong way, this blue arrow is you and where you are going, this other arrow shows you where you need to go,” I was so embarrassed! We were about 4 blocks away from the condo when we realized we were going the wrong way. Sir just laughed and made fun of me the whole trip. But I am no longer allowed to do the navigation when we are on foot. LOL! Thought I would share that blonde moment I had with you guys!

So we made it to Sweet Melissa’s then saw across the street was Paula Deen’s restuaraunt. So we decided to go ahead and eat there. It was great food. Buffet was amazing. Fried chick tasted just like my Grandmas. So after that we came back to the Condo and unpacked. I was so exhausted. It was like the sun just drained me. Sir made the decision that we weren’t going to go to Tybee Island to the beach because he didn’t think I could handle it and he didn’t want me to pass out. Damn my Lupus. I’ve never been this sensitive to the sun before. Even with sunscreen on, it was draining. So after we unpacked I decided to take a nap. Sir also made the decision that we wouldn’t go out until the evening when it was cool to avoid me getting too drained from the sun.

I won’t give you a play by play on exactly what we did but I will just recap. We took a dinner boat cruise on the river which was nice. We went to a bar called Wet Willies where they serve slushy alcoholic drinks. MMMMNNN they were so good. I had a mix of Banana and Sex on the Beach. I forgot what Sir had. But it was good. We did a paranormal walking ghost tour which was fun, but the scariest part was probably when a giant cockroach (yes it was the size of my hand) started chasing me in the square. I zig-zagged and tried to dodge it, but it was intent on following me. I tried stomping on it. it had no fear and its long antennas were moving. Finally it decided to go off into the grass. LOL! We did get an EVP (electronic voice phenomenon) at one location it said “Go”, and so we went lol, obviously something didn’t want us there. We also went to the First African Baptist Church, it was cool because not only was a church it was part of the underground railroad. Our guide was amazing. She was energetic in tell the story of the church. Then we did A LOT of bar hopping and drinking our last night there. We were definitely a little drunk, Sir had a number of LIT’s and I had fruity drinks. But they definitely pour the alcohol in them. But luckily we made it back to our condo. I went to a psychic, I’ve been wanting to do that for years now. She was half-right about things. She was dead on about my past. My future, not so much I guess. She agreed that retiring from police work was the best option then she said I probably need to stay in that field for work. She doesn’t believe that I would be happy as a stay-at-home wife. I think that is wrong. I know I will be happy.

Overall, Savannah was great. I would definitely recommend visiting there. There is plenty to do and see. So much history. Like we learned that the city of Savannah is built on top of graves. Yes that’s right, graves. They said that when people are doing renovations to houses they almost always find the remains of bodies. Pretty cool. And we saw the Mercer house which is where the real story of the movie “Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil”, it was a true story.

So that’s my recap on the Vacation…I will write another entry titled “Sex on Vacation”.

Happy Birthday to Me!

Today is my 31st Birthday! Yay! We are enjoying our vacation in Savannah. Sir got me an Oreo ice cream cake.

The only thing is with my Lupus I can’t really go out in the peak of the day. It’s so hot and draining. Made that mistake yesterday and almost had a heat stroke and when we finally got back to the condo I was completely drained. Sometimes I hate Lupus….ok, all the time I hate Lupus.

So the beach is out, Sir doesn’t want me to pass out from the heat…boo! But we are going on a ghost tour tonight, so I am excited about that.

Married to the Beast

This is an awesome piece written by Dancing the Path. This is amazing! I connected so much with this!

Dancing the Path

In His arms

“You’re married to your Dom, isn’t your Lifestyle/Dynamic easier? Do you even have sub-drop ever? Honestly, I don’t see you as a real sub, you are merely doing your wifely duty…”…As much as I hate to even type those bad boys out, believe it or not, some rather rude subs and at least one very uncouth dominant have voiced either these comments, or something very similar to me about Our dynamic. Does this make you mad? It made me livid to be honest, but I never voiced exactly what it’s like to be a married submissive to her Dominant because, well honestly, these particular degenerates didn’t deserve my time to answer their petty, shallow and frankly ridiculous questions/comments. The worst part about what they said though, was that it bore into my head, the insecurity that was there; was I really a sub? Was Our dynamic somehow completely different and…

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Our 6 Year Anniversary!

Wedding8Six years ago today, I walked down an aisle in a white dress and said my vows to my Sir. We have had some ups and we have had some downs but I wouldn’t want to go through it with anyone else but him. So to celebrate our Anniversary we are leaving tomorrow for Savannah, GA for a week. I just wanted to say on here “Happy Anniversary Sir!”… I will leave you with a few pictures from our wedding. June 13, 2009.

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Let’s Get Sloshed!

So last night we attended our first slosh. A slosh is like a munch but for 21 and older at a bar. We had so much fun and we are so glad that we are part of the local community now. They welcomed us with open arms and we made quite a few friends.

Sir did real well engaging people. He even let me have an extra drink. I was feeling pretty darn good. We stayed out until almost 2 in the morning. We haven’t stayed out that late in a long time. Sir found some Rope people that told him about some Rope classes we can go to to learn. He really wants to learn about ropes.

They invited us to a party next weekend. We are going to try to go. We were overwhelmed by their kindness. They are really a great group of people. We all had a lot in common other than kink, lol. But it was great. Can’t wait to hang out with all of them again. Sorry this is short but I wanted to write about it…you’ll see why its so short with my next post.

Kink of The Week: Anonymous Sex!

So…when I first saw this topic, I was at a loss. I’ve never had anonymous sex and I didn’t really know how I felt about it let alone what to write about it. But after careful thought about it I can now at least write my opinion on it.

I personally could never do anonymous sex. I have a emotional connection that goes with sex. When I was single that why is was hard for me to have casual sex, I always got emotionally attached. Plus to me, If I don’t know you, I’m definitely not sleeping with you. I mean with all the diseases that are going around nowadays (I’m just paranoid), even if you do wear a condom. Nope…just not for me.

Maybe I could write a story about anonymous sex but I would feel like I’d be guessing because I’ve never experienced it.

I hope this post doesn’t sound harsh, but anonymous sex just doesn’t sound smart to me. But to each his own and if you’ve done it then that’s great for you. I don’t judge, I just voice my opinion on things and its just that my opinion.

Kink of the Week