Kink of the Week: High Heels

Hmmn, my thoughts on high heels…I’m all for them. I used to wear them a lot. I think they are very sexy. However now that I’ve gained a little weight and got Lupus its hard for me to wear heels for a long period of time. I can wear the ones with a thick heel longer than a stiletto. High Heels accentuate your legs, especially if they are long. Well even if they are short they make your legs look longer.

We only dress up every once in a while and I’ll put on some heels but I always have a pair of flat shoes in my purse for if I have to change. I wonder what Sir thinks of heels. I’ve never asked him about it. I will have to asked him about it today.

http://kinkandpoly.com/kinkoftheweek/

Define Your Kink: Day 2

Day 2: Describe who you might submit to and how? Are you exclusively submissive in marriage or just the bedroom?

Well first off I’m only submitting to my husband, LOL. But the characteristics of a Dominant that I like are confidence, one who’s not afraid to take charge of situations, who is strict. I kind of need strict because I can be hard headed at times. One that knows what he wants and just takes it. I think Sir is perfect for me. When he develops himself and knows exactly what he wants, I think we will be a powerful D/s couple. He likes going to local events and so do I. Our community is very active, there is something going on almost every day of the week. You learn so much from the people that’s been doing this longer than you. Its important to always learn. If someone says they know everything about BDSM and don’t need to learn, they are lying. You always want to grow and learn new things in your relationship. Next month we are going to Beat My Valentine in Indianapolis. We are very excited to attend. This year will be different, lol. Last year we had a major hiccup and wasn’t able to attend classes (Beat My Valentine…D/s event!!). I would like to attend more D/s events. In May I am going to a servants retreat in Indianapolis. I’d like to go to Kinky Kollege in March but we have to look at that. Its in Chicago, which will be nice to visit. I would also like to go to  Power Exchange Summit. It’s in Columbus, OH. I always want to learn and dig deeper in my submission.

I am exclusively submissive in marriage. I am a submissive to Sir 24/7. I wear my collar 24/7. I personally believe you can’t get the whole effect of BDSM and D/s with only in the bedroom. Outside the bedroom you grow a bond that is like no other. You get stronger in your marriage. BDSM is not only about the kinky sex, its about growing a bond between your partner(s). I know it might be hard for married couples with children to do 24/7 but I would suggest try doing it as much as possible.

Define Your Kink: Day 1

So a blog that I follow (Chasing Me, Chasing You) has come up with a 30 days to define your submission. 30 questions to answer to help you define your submission. I have decided to answer the questions here on my blog as well.

Day 1: Do you view your submission as: Taken in hand, domestic discipline, top/bottom, dominant/submissive, owner/pet, DD/lg; or some other description or combination? If you do not use a label, why?

I view my submission strictly as Dominant/submissive. I would like to add a little more domestic discipline into the relationship.We are taking things slow..a little too slow for my liking but we have to go at Sir’s pace and I understand that.

I know a lot of people don’t like labels but I do for some reason. Maybe its my obsession with structure I feel safe and secure knowing exactly what dynamic we are. I understand the people that don’t like labels and nothing against them it just isn’t for me.

BDSM Relationship Reset

Awesome Post!!!

thekinkyworldofvile

We all get in a routine , we do the same ol thing day in and day out. The routine becomes such a habit we do not even realize it.
The same goes for relationships , the old routine , and up until last night I never gave it much thought until Arianna brought it up, and Reset was the word, a relationship lifestyle reset.

Now you could say the same thing about a vanilla relationship, but I really doubt you could pull your wife by the hair force her down to her knees, shove your cock in her mouth pump until you blow your load, bend her over the couch and force two fingers in her pussy and two in her ass and pump until your arm gives out, then put her in a cage. That does sound very interesting.

The routine , Yes Sir, No Sir, may I…

View original post 677 more words

Time…

So, I was going over my schedule today at my infusion. Its been pretty crazy since I got out of the hospital. Getting ready for Christmas and that business. Getting settled back into work and thinking about upcoming topics to write about in my blog. If that wasn’t busy enough I went and entered myself in two dog shows in January.

January 7th and 8th, I will be heading to Evansville for an obedience trial with Capone. January 14th and 15th I will showing Presco in a rally trial here. The following weekend I will be attending a seminar for dog handlers here. I’m not working a dog just auditing the seminar. Plus there is a cool play party that me and Sir want to attend. February, the 4th and 5th I am thinking about doing another rally trial here. But If I don’t have anyone to show then I wont do it. Then, we have Beat My Valentine the 17th, 18th, and 19th in Indianapolis. March 16th-19th is the Kentuckiana Cluster of dog shows. March 31st-April 2nd, Sir and I are going to Chicago with Capone to trial in an International Conformation show by our USA-Box klub. April 3rd-8th I will be travelling for work for training in Indianapolis. May 5-7th is the American Boxer Specialty in Indianapolis. May 14th-16th I am going to a submissive’s retreat intensive in Indianapolis. I’m really excited about that. And May 27th-28th is another obedience dog show in Evansville. June 10th-11th is Rally Fest in Evansville another dog trial. Don’t know for sure if I am going to go to that one.

So, the first 6 months of the year are going to be busy. I didn’t even mention the monthly local BDSM community stuff that will be going on. And I have to find time write about all these things here, lol. But that will be easy. I love writing about my little adventures wither it be in the dog show world or the kink world. Plus I will be writing about topics as they come and how me and Sir are doing in our D/s. Lots to write about, huh? LOL

“You’re not a good submissive”

I have a friend that was told that she wasn’t a good submissive because she didn’t do some things that the other submissive did with her Sir. I have a problem with this. Everyone’s D/s relationship is different and you cannot judge someone on things that are consensual between  partners.

I, too in the beginning would judge how submissives would act in public with their Doms. I wouldn’t tell them this in person but later I would talk to Sir about it and he would always say “That’s their thing, it doesn’t concern us,”. I quickly grew out of it when I started chatting with my sub mom. I call her my sub mom because she is more of a mentor to me. I came to learn that everyone’s dynamic is different and people don’t have to act the same. For example We are not poly (meaning you have more than one partner), I don’t knock someone for being poly it’s just not my thing. My sub mom is poly and I love her to pieces. I don’t think she’s doing anything wrong because of our differences.But this sub shaming has got to stop. I see it everyday in the groups Im involved in on Facebook and Fetlife. As long asthe sub isnt doing anything against their will then its not for you to tell them something is wrong. Again I stresd that everyones D/s relationship is different. Its fitted to mold to the one involved in the relationship and thats what I truly love about this lifestyle. What works you and yours may not work for me and mine but having the knowledge that it exists is extraordinarily powerful I feel. As a submissive I feel that knowledge is our power, the more we know about D/s the more we can shape it with our partner (s). Wither its readin a book, following a blog or just cruising the internet, educate yourself. I personally like The Submissive Guide website. They have a lot of great articles. So go educate yourself. 

2017 Goals

Physical

  • Eat healthier (make better choices, take lunch to work,)
  • Workout with Sir (1-2 times a week)
  • Continue with waxes
  • Continue with hair appts
  • Try to stay out of the hospital
  • Wear makeup more (stop being lazy)

Career

  • Learn Excel, Access, i2 programs
  • Get ahead in projects

Dog Goals

  • Heidi: Rally Excellent and Novice titles
  • Capone: Rally Advanced, Beginner Novice, and CGC titles
  • Presco: Rally Advanced

Travel

  • Beat My Valentine–Indianapolis, IN
  • Kinky Kollege–Chicago, IL
  • Servants Retreat–Indianapolis, IN
  • Dog Shows- Evansville, IN
  • FCI Dog Show-Chicago, IL
  • ABC National Specialty Dog Show-Indianapolis, IN

Life

  • Continue being involved in local community
  • Attend seminars and conferences about the lifestyle
  • Continue growing in D/s with Sir
  • Keep house cleaner

Relationship

  • Communicate, Communicate, Communicate!!!
  • Date night once a week
  • Workout together

Financial

  • Continue to get out of debt
  • Cut out on fast food
  • Cut out unnecessary spending

Smaller list than last year. I tried not to give myself unrealistic expectations. I will also do better about writing down the journey in this blog. I’m really concentrated this year on BDSM and the dogs getting their titles. My job also is in that too. I want to learn how to do more so I don’t feel like a complete idiot. Here’s to 2017 and my new goal list. Im guessing I hope you guys will be my accountability partners LOL. Help keep me on track.

Ok, so I wrote about all the bad things in 2016. At the end I am thankful for a lot:

* My wonderful Husband/Sir

* My boxer dogs.

* My job

* My in-law family

* My small family

* The ability to not want for anything. 

* My new kink family in my local community and online community

* The 132 followers I have on wordpress. Wow! It humbles me and moves me to tears that so many people like mt blog. I hope it helps. 

 

Happy New Year Everyone! Please be safe when going out tonight!!

2016 in a nutshell….

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OK so 2016 was an awful year me and Sir almost got a divorce (three times), I was hospitalized twice and countless Emergency Room visits. A lot of people I knew died this year. When I think of 2016 I wanna light that bitch on fire and forget it ever happened. The only thing to do now is to look forward to 2017 and what it will bring. I will not dwell on 2016.

Christmas was probably the beginning of the light at the end of the tunnel. Sir got me aa pink Under Armour hoodie. If you guys didn’t know I could be a spokesperson for Under Armour. I love their products, especially in the winter when I’m training my dogs outside. He noticed I didn’t have a pink one and pink is my favorite color so he got me one. He also got me an Under Armour Jacksonville Jaguar t-shirt as well. I got him a Nike Fleece outfit, hoodie and sweatpants. All he wears most of the time are sweatpants so I knew he would like it. He wore it on Christmas to his mom’s house and my grandmas house.

Oh wait, I almost forgot…someone got their collar back!!! Yay!!

So screw you 2016….come on 2017 lets do this!

 

 

Christmas…

Well Christmas makes me feel happy. Its a time where I get to see my wonderful in-law family and catch up with their lives. I look forward to it. I also secretly look forward to the gifts as well, lol. I love giving as well as receiving (in more ways then one *evil grin*). I love the look on my nieces faces when they open their presents. It makes me want to be a kid again. This Christmas is extra special, Sir and I have reconciled and I am lucky and happy to be back with him. That is gift enough for me. But he got me my favorite brand of hoodie Under Armour (I could be a spokes person), however I don’t own one in my favorite color…pink. So he got me that and a Under Armour T-shirt with our favorite teams logo the Jacksonville Jaguars. So I wore it earlier when we went over to my in-laws house for breakfast. And I will be wearing it this evening when we go over my grandmas house for dinner.

Breakfast was really nice this morning. Its always great listening to my nieces tell me what their parents got them for Christmas. They do Christmas at their house then come over to my mother-in-laws house as well. We decided since Sir’s father was just in the hospital that we would postpone our present giving until next weekend. So we just had a nice big family breakfast.

Christmas time to me is about family and being with the ones you love. Now family does not have to be a blood relative. People choose who are in their family. Well that’s my opinion on that.